Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
amoxill

the glamorous life

25 posts in this topic

Goddammit that looked like a good time, a Sir Mixalot song comes to mind..........Jane Fonda ain't got no anaconda in the back of her honda.

Duffa likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hahahaha nice one. I wonder if all the retards who think they want to be a tattooer cause it's so fun and cool realize that 90% of the time it's tattooing fat chicks asses and titties....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd much rather tattoo the crazies, fatties, etc. and be able talk about killing zombies than inking the over tanned uptown julie browns exhibiting their zanax prescription.

Case in point;

I like to derail some people when they are the first timer questioning me to be serious about how much pain is involved minutes before I start, it don't matter what I reply with as they will soon know so sometimes I just say "I compare it to the first time ya have anal sex, that shid hurts!" and it totally derails them and they generally don't reply or the replies will vary between males and females to something so "off the wall". But one time after I was underway after the "no reply/response" this lady stated "You lied! I'd much rather have anal sex than this!" I had to laugh.

As to the variety of "earthy and real people" we get, I once had a lady in the chair getting a bird of paradise on her should, her back to me, and this guy stopped by needing to talk about some deep marital stuff he was going through and how his Wife left him for ANOTHER WOMAN. I told him that I had once pondered as to "who would know better than another woman how and where to please another woman", now the lady in the chair hadn't said a word since we had began and was not part of this discussion but at that point she turned her head towards us and spoke up "That's a crock of szhit, this beotch was eating my pussy last Saturday and she didn't know what the f*%k she was doing" at which point I couldn't help but burst into laughter.

I love my job.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I worked for a guy who claimed to have more than one female customer start masturbating while getting tattooed.. This is something I can't really understand.. I mean I guess if you are a exhibitionist and a bit masochistic then maybe? Same guy also told me a few tales about ladies getting totally naked to get their lower back tattooed, or ladies getting totally topless to get a small shoulder or chest tattoo.. Unfortunately I think on most occasions they're the ladies you don't wanna see naked who like to get naked.... I actually remember hiding in the back of the shop on a couple occasions and having to force myself not to burst out laughing at some of them..

But yeah @hawk is right, I'd rather have to talk to some fat chick or whatever then deal with a zanax queen (or king) any day, in just about any situation unless it's when I'm on a plane or trying to buy zanex, the later of which doesn't really happen....

hawk likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My friends a local tattooer.....I hang out often,bullshit etc The worst is the people (mostly men) who dont understand how to get a tattoo (relax, breath yadda yadda) who fart or shart because they push and squeeze so hard.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I dont think I'd be bothered so much by someone who is overweight as much as someone who smelled bad, which I am sure is an issue. I mean, as long as the nice young lady in the picture above has recently showered, it doesnt seem so bad. Otherwise, it could be excruciating.

I dont think I am buying the masturbating thing either. Seems to me it would make you move too much and result in a shaky tattoo. Fun story though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

'Beauty is bought by judgement of the eye'- Shakespeare

'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.'- Miss Piggy

'Long, short, thin, heavy, 12 fingers, 3 legs, rough or smooth, I shall drink it all and belch what I don't desire till my lifes experience end.'- Hawk

BigAl my friend, we here on the LST are the people bred out of the uncommon perception of what is beauty and beautify ourselves and others in some cases to balance any of our personal short comings. That Lady in the posted pic appears a very happy and a beautiful person full of life, that is what my eye beholds and I'm certain the thread was never intended to insult and if this is anybody's perception then let me be the first to apologize.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hey Big Al I just want to mention I in no way meant to let anyone think I have a problem with overweight people or anything like that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Now I've never had an interest to be a Tattoo Artist. I like art and used to draw a lot but was never interested in tattooing. I have a lot of non-tattooed friends though and one night over dinner they asked why I never became a Tattooist. Rather than get into a long winded discussion I didn't really care to get into my response was, "Asses!!! I don't want to spend time hovering over and poking a smelly naked guy in the ass! No smelly asses! Can't do it!".

That photo starting the post is the epitome of that idea. Ha ha!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hawk pretty much took the words right out of my mouth, but i'd be remiss not to reiterate that my post was never intended as a dig toward any particular body type.

i would've posted if it had been a bald skinny chick from Baytown, a hirsute Armenian bodybuilder, or a Hindu dwarf.

the salient point being that despite the sanitized and glamorized tattooer-rock star image perpetuated in reality programming, for me the reality of a good bit of this profession is being elbow-deep in some stranger's ass meat while my friends are at the bar.

(which, by the way, is fine by me.)

Johnny, David Flores and Ursula like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

real "in the trenches" tattooing, that's what it's about. you never know what's going to come through the door, awesome. for smelly people, they either get an accidental splash of green soap in the neighboring area that is causing the odor or if thats not possible a little swipe of dettol across my mustache before the tattoo does the trick.

Ursula, Duffa and amoxill like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like that picture...you are both laughing. It looks like a fun time. Its one of my favorite things about getting tattooed...that really unhibited feeling at the shop, off color jokes, pretty much nothings off limits to laugh and joke about...everyone's pretty equal with their ass hanging out getting tattooed at the shop.

David Flores, hogg, Ursula and 4 others like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
, for me the reality of a good bit of this profession is being elbow-deep in some stranger's ass meat while my friends are at the bar.

(which, by the way, is fine by me.)

I've been laughing for 5 minutes about this. Very nice.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry been out for a few days started a new job (c.n.a) so while y'all are elbow deep in ass meet I'm elbow deep in shit and piss and old funk... but I didn't take it as an offense LOL I been fat my whole life and one if the things I learned early was that you got let stuff roll off your shoulder and I usually would have made a joke about it was just in a hurry that day

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ahhh...that pic says it all about tattooin in houston....i had a similar adventure...almost made the mistake of making her straddle the chair....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
hahahaha nice one. I wonder if all the retards who think they want to be a tattooer cause it's so fun and cool realize that 90% of the time it's tattooing fat chicks asses and titties....

Ursula, How dare you talk about titties like that! Fat titties are better than no titties at all ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0

  • Recent Posts

    • As the title says, I have never gotten a tattoo before.  I have never been against them, I just never personally had something that meant enough to me to permanently put on my body.  Well I am 32 years old and about to have A baby girl in 2 weeks and the pregnancy for my wife has been very complicated and life changing and I think I finally found that thing that means enough for me to have on me forever.  However, having never done this before I am a lot of things: lost, scared of choosing the wrong artist or design, having it turn out bad.  The biggest thing for me though is that I am completely inept when it comes to art/design etc.  I don't know exactly what I want and I am not talented enough to create options.  I have googled quite a bit and have seen some cool designs but am not able to make them my own.   Here are some details and things I have thought of.   Her name will be Summer Nicole, initials will be SNK I am think of doing it on the inside of my left arm so that it is more inconspicuous and also close to my heart Do I do initials, first name or first and middle name? I have also thought of including the date of birth  Should I just keep it simple with her name or add something to it like a border, flower that would make it pop a little more     i know all of this is entirely personal preference, I was just hoping to lean on the experience and expertise of those who live and breath this every day.   Any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated! If by chance you are bored and quickly able to give me some ideas or quick sketch thoughts it would mean the world to me.   I apologize for the long post and probably being the epitome of the very annoying "noob" for most of you artists but I am just hoping for anything that can help me.      
    • I like this topic man. I don't see myself as an overly morbid creature, but I'm probably more interested in the occult than the average person is. This has alot to do with the music I listen to, I admit (metal, and black metal especially). But I'm also a devoted atheist - I believe organized religion is the root of all evil in this world. So I really wanna get a tattoo inspired by the occult, but I'm afraid that may be crossing a line or whatever. I mean, the Baphomet on your upper arm or a burning cross on your leg, people are bound to brand you a lunatic.  I'm getting my forearm done soon, and it will be a portrait of one of the old godesses in norse religion. I did consider Hel, the queen of the underworld, but maybe that too is a bit too much on the dark side? 
    • If I was a cat, I'd be down to 1 life left..at best. In fact, I may be ahead of the game. In just my 26 years in the Army, I had an 8" artillery shell detonate over my head and was hit with shrapnel but without injury, I've ridden 2 helicopters to the ground with engine failures...one hard enough to compress the skids...and walked away and was in the area of the Pentagon hit by the plane on 9/11 and twice escaped (at least) from circumstances where I could have not made it out. My uniform is part of the Smithsonian exhibition form that day....I stared Death down and smiled back. My second tattoo is attribute to the 9/11 experiences. Not focused on death but on the determination to live and to face the threat head on. That's why I chose an eagle standing on a pentagonal shaped rock with sun rays shining overhead. Death doesn't scare me nor does it control my actions. When it comes it comes...and I am ready to face the life after.  
  • Last Sparrow Tattoo Sponsors

  • Instagram #LastSparrow

  • Recent Topics