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How do you react to stares??????


Natveggie45
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Next month I will be in Hawaii surfing and laying on the beach so time will tell. Hope people don't stare to much I need to lose some weight, Ha Ha.

My parents were born in Hawaii, so I've plenty of family on the islands and go back every few years. There are actually a lot of tattoo shops and tattooed people so I don't think you'll get any harsh stares. If anything, I found it interesting that the last time I was there I got more than a couple of head nods from Locals. And it wasn't because Locals are crazy nice either.

Enjoy your trip and be sure to have a "plate lunch" while you're there and if you find yourself in Maui, you've got to try "Guri Guri" in Kahului. It's a must have and everyone on the island will know what you're talking about if you ask.

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I have to admit I am not nice in these situations...I'm not interested in winning anyone over and I'm really not interested in sanctimonious opinions so my response is mostly a 'I'm not interested in your opinion" to a 'Fuck off' depending on rudeness level. I also stare back haha. I get more comments and looks because of my pitbull these days. People are either super nice OR act like you are a rapist 0_o

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I really don't catch too many people checking out my ink.... or maybe I don't notice. I'm kinda on the big side and have cultivated a serial killer look over the years.

I don't wear sleeveless shirts when I'm around town, only around the house, gym or beach. Everyone on the beach loves tattoos though. Tons of people in my gym are inked up too. I mainly hang out with my own kind, colored people.

CG

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if i ever caught anyone staring, theyd usually explain themselves what they are doing, because ill say someshit depending.. and they either stop there, or have a question.. i dont mind.. i also get a lot of people like, "yo, man! nice ink", when they just barely saw it for a split second while walking by.. thats what bugs me.. when somebodies just trying to give drive by props on something they barely even saw..

- - - Updated - - -

there was a big craigslist rants and raves fight a while ago, locally.. some guy, out of left field, went on about tattoo'd people and how hell be the guy who stares you down and says some shit.. he later threatened to drive you over the hill in his pickup truck and murder you lol..

i dont normally participate in faceless internet arguements like that, especially on fucking craigslist.. but i felt like i had to call his bluff.. in this area, anyway, the a lot of the people with tattoos are g's or tough ass biker- criminals.. the other majority consists of maybe not criminals, but people who would fuck you up for that.. the few are the meek, who even they would have something to say/do, if theyre willing to throw it all on their sleeves anyway..

so, i figured, its a numbers game and dude was lying about staring down all tattoo'd people he sees..

also, i love when some girl is showing off a rad chest peice and i get caught looking at it..

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  • 1 year later...

I've yet to have someone come to me with negativity regarding my tattoos... I have had some stares, I mean who hasn't. Usually I feel out the person staring, to see if it is curiosity or just plain being rude. I've been wrong before, a old lady sat about 4-5 seats down from me with her friend at the counter while we were grabbing breakfast at some diner. I felt her staring, as she was... I just ignored it, but I glanced over again and she was still glaring at my arms/hands. So I kindly asked... may I help you? And I think she thought I had actually gotten the wrong idea as she said "I have never seen tattoos like that before...they are beautiful". Felt pretty good, I was expecting a lecture of some sort. But, I usually just glare back. I can only imagine how many people didn't say anything to my face, and later warned their kids about people like me... whatever. I'm over the caring what other people think thing. As you were.

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I don't mind people staring at my tattoos sometimes I catch myself staring at theirs. I am a father of 2 severely disabled children so it's a different matter when we are out and they get stared at , dependent on mood , but most of the time if people are staring at them, i'm usually straight up in their grill (as you say in America :D) asking them what the fuck they are staring at.

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There's a guy started sitting next to me in work and he has this sleeve which is black and grey with bits of colour , but unsure what it is , its so unreadable , I keep catching myself staring at it trying to work it out . I will make friends with him eventually and find out wtf , but at the moment its a mystery.

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I don't mind people staring at my tattoos sometimes I catch myself staring at theirs. I am a father of 2 severely disabled children so it's a different matter when we are out and they get stared at , dependent on mood , but most of the time if people are staring at them, i'm usually straight up in their grill (as you say in America :D) asking them what the fuck they are staring at.

Working with pediatrics for years and years, I can only imagine how much the staring sucks. Aren't people generally friendly to them? :(

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Amazed at how kind people can be to them also amazed at how horrible other people can be

When I was new to Glasgow I got some of the most valuable advice somebody could ever get about that place (this was from a barmaid at a pub while I was retracing my steps hoping vainly that I'd somehow dropped my wallet somewhere and that it hadn't been stolen), which was that 90% of the people in Glasgow will be the kindest, friendliest, most warm-hearted people you will ever meet, but that the other 10% are complete and utter bastards. That still seems about right.

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Amazed at how kind people can be to them also amazed at how horrible other people can be

I've had conversations (and occasional yelling contests) with people I work with on how you treat the disabled: Age appropriately, and look them in the eye, and explain what you're doing clearly. You would be shocked how people can have a dozen years of education and not grasp this.

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I've been getting stared at my whole life before the tattoos. I suggest getting a thick skin. If someone tells you some Mormon nonsense like the one lady, you need to fire back, "You know, Martha, what I do with my body is none of your business."

I have only one very recent tattoo and it´s not in a visible spot, but I´ve also been stared at for almost all my life. Stares are not necessarily a bad thing. I seem to have a certain presence that draws a lot of attention, and being intergendered, I tend to stand out even more. Most of the attention I get is positive, though, and when it´s negative, I prefer to deflect it rather than try to clash against them. After all, in the same way that nobody will change my ways by telling me BS, I won´t change their view of life with a snappy comeback.

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I have only one very recent tattoo and it´s not in a visible spot, but I´ve also been stared at for almost all my life. Stares are not necessarily a bad thing. I seem to have a certain presence that draws a lot of attention, and being intergendered, I tend to stand out even more. Most of the attention I get is positive, though, and when it´s negative, I prefer to deflect it rather than try to clash against them. After all, in the same way that nobody will change my ways by telling me BS, I won´t change their view of life with a snappy comeback.

I agree that normally people who openly insult someone usually are to be pitied, but sometimes you have to give it to someone in the neck. I'd rather be a bitch than a doormat, because if I'm the former, the incident has never repeated itself.

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I agree that normally people who openly insult someone usually are to be pitied, but sometimes you have to give it to someone in the neck. I'd rather be a bitch than a doormat, because if I'm the former, the incident has never repeated itself.

Oh, believe me, I´m anything but a doormat. You can´t walk over me if you don´t take me down first, and you can´t take me down if you can´t hit me. It takes two to fight, and as I make it clear that I´m not interested, incidents don´t repeat either. Not because I teach intolerant, nosy people a lesson, but because they get bored or tired.

I think the way we handle these situations has a lot to do with personalities and our personal history. I used to get angry really easily while growing up. It caused me a lot of pain and kept the bullies engaged. Realizing I could choose how to feel about what people said about me, and that I didn´t get anything positive from letting it affect me, has made a huge change in my life, and even in what people say about me. It´s like now more and more people get to see through what they superficially wouldn´t like about me.

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Oh, believe me, I´m anything but a doormat. You can´t walk over me if you don´t take me down first, and you can´t take me down if you can´t hit me. It takes two to fight, and as I make it clear that I´m not interested, incidents don´t repeat either. Not because I teach intolerant, nosy people a lesson, but because they get bored or tired.

I think the way we handle these situations has a lot to do with personalities and our personal history. I used to get angry really easily while growing up. It caused me a lot of pain and kept the bullies engaged. Realizing I could choose how to feel about what people said about me, and that I didn´t get anything positive from letting it affect me, has made a huge change in my life, and even in what people say about me. It´s like now more and more people get to see through what they superficially wouldn´t like about me.

Don't misunderstand: I'm not an angry person (usually ;) ). However, being a smaller female who works in a male-dominated field, I guess it's made me a little more tough-minded. The only people who've said anything rude about my tattoos, oddly enough, have been family. Most people think it's interesting I have a considerable amount of ink that tends to show through something like a white blouse.

Most stares are simple curiosity, and that's okay.

When people are rude or obnoxious and I put them in their place, it's not from an emotional standpoint of getting even. It's about making it clear what will and will not be tolerated. If someone wants to point out my tattoos make me "trash," I'm quick on the draw to compare pay, career, education level, prestige in the community... Not because any of that means anything, but the sort of people who value tattoos tend to value those sorts of things, and honestly believe appearances are the be-all end-all. This is not so, fortunately. I'm no Nicole Kidman.

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When I began getting inked, I had only two weeks before separated from the US Army (honorable discharge) after five years service in the Infantry. My last duty station had been Coleman Barracks, just outside of Mannheim, West Germany. It sucked, and the (albeit, shortened) tour ate it. So, "how do you react to stares, JB?" Nowadays, just fine; 37 years ago? Like you wouldn't believe. I'd give people "hard eyes" and a "get super-aggressive real fast" attitude. Back then, ink had a secondary (primary?) role of non-verbally "giving someone the bird". For some reason, that was important to me. Thankfully, times have changed; people, too; and so have I. Since coming back to the US, summer of 2004, I've had nothing but pleasant, polite interest from people in my tattoos, if they respond to them at all. Maybe it's that the tattoos, themselves, have always been classic, traditional American designs -- with the exception of a few places, all my work is "sewn-together" flash, designs from sheets on the wall. Nothing anybody gets angry about. I especially like the stares -- and the conversations that follow -- from age-appropriate women of a certain type.

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I guess it depends on the type of stares? Do you think your tattoo looks great? In that case it would be nice that people notices it right? Just like how guys keep looking at pretty women with nice tits. My advice is if you really love it, don't bother bout what other people think. Unless it's your husband lol, try and discuss things with him.

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When I began getting inked, I had only two weeks before separated from the US Army (honorable discharge) after five years service in the Infantry. My last duty station had been Coleman Barracks, just outside of Mannheim, West Germany. It sucked, and the (albeit, shortened) tour ate it. So, "how do you react to stares, JB?" Nowadays, just fine; 37 years ago? Like you wouldn't believe. I'd give people "hard eyes" and a "get super-aggressive real fast" attitude. Back then, ink had a secondary (primary?) role of non-verbally "giving someone the bird". For some reason, that was important to me. Thankfully, times have changed; people, too; and so have I. Since coming back to the US, summer of 2004, I've had nothing but pleasant, polite interest from people in my tattoos, if they respond to them at all. Maybe it's that the tattoos, themselves, have always been classic, traditional American designs -- with the exception of a few places, all my work is "sewn-together" flash, designs from sheets on the wall. Nothing anybody gets angry about. I especially like the stares -- and the conversations that follow -- from age-appropriate women of a certain type.

I can relate to this so well working in emergency medicine and being a woman. Though most of my ink is hidden, occasionally I have to change in the shower or something like that happens. 98% of people think it's interesting. 2% think it's a license to say something obnoxious.

Staring is fine. Commentary is unheeded and unneeded.

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  • 1 month later...

Im a bouncer at a local bar in my home town an i get alot of dirty looks from some older heads while im working. but ya know u get used to it an you find most of there comments kinda funny. we are in the bible belt baby an we know how the are in the south bo. but all in all u get used to it. an most people will understand its your body

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