fourtotheflush

1st "Big" Tattoo

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Ok, so big is relative right?

Im figuring that the tattoo I am getting on Saturday is going to be most of my left pec.

Im pretty excited for it and am welcoming having a larger piece on me(4x4 - 5x5 ish).

here is my problem, my wife is going with me to get the tattoo and will be sitting with me for the first half hour/hour or so. (basically until she gets too antsy).

She has already subtly hinted "I hope its not going to be too big"

I replied, I think its going to be bigger than you expect.

so here is my dilemma:

Is the artist going to be put off if my wife starts fiddling w\ the size of the tattoo? (Johannes seemed pretty level headed and very cool in our meeting and over email).

Im guessing he may have to change the size anyway as he didnt measure the space he has to work with.

Do I uninvite my wife to the sitting?

or am I just freaking out a little bit here?

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She has already subtly hinted "I hope its not going to be too big"

I replied, I think its going to be bigger than you expect.

^this made me laugh

my suggestion is to ask your wife to come during the middle/end of the appointment because you might need her as a distraction from the pain after the first hour and she can bring you a snack.

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or am I just freaking out a little bit here?

If your wife has a problem with you getting a tattoo it's probably a good idea to....

A) Not get tattooed

B) Get her on board with it

C) Get tattooed behind her back, and face the music you come home

I doubt any tattooer would appreciate a client and his/her significant other fight over size, placement, design or anything else for that mather, in the shop.

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First things first.

TELL your wife what you are doing.

If she objects to the size, I'm sorry, but that's her problem, not yours.

Seriously, if this was a Lady getting some work done, no one would be like "oh, you better tell your man first!", they'd tell her to just go for it.

.02

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In addition to being honest with her up front, I would also emphasize to her that, if she chooses to come with you, she is merely there as an observer. That She isn't there to play any role is the decision making process (i.e. no complaining about the size!). If she can accept that before even going into the shop, the tattooer won't have to deal with any sort of spousal disagreements, which is good because, let's be honest, that shit is awkward to witness.

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Point her nose at a huge-arse, back piece; something like I saw on a Thai girl the other night at a bar. She had this HUGE back piece done of a samurai cutting of the head of a opponent, that was just SUPER graphic. The head was held in his hand with sword raised and he was standing on a mountain of heads in all forms of pain..... and then down size it.... lol....

I bought the girl a drink and she told me it was over 55 hours of work...

I am on of the 50% that did not work in the marriage business. My tattoos are my best friends as the moment. Bitch even wanted the hound dog but she cannot take my art from me...

Still, if she did not leave me, I would have not got to see that Thai girl and her amazing back piece in close detail... lol... I think I am having the last laugh...

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Thanks for all the advice.

She is on board w the tattoo - she is just concerned w the size.

I'm not hiding anything or sneaking around

But I am gonna get this sucker!

I like the idea of her showing up an hour or so into it for support after it outlined and no changes can be made.

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I don't take my wife when I get tattooed its bad enough getting the "are you finished yet??!!" Texts all the time lol my wife always takes me with her when she gets tattooed though which I don't mind cos I'm always like "get it bigger !"

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My suggestion would be to just not bring the wife lol. I am not a fan of bringing people along it just distracts the tattoo artist. Just get what you want and don't worry!

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I never bring people along... My tattoos and the experience is all miney mine. My future husband and I have only had one conversation about my tattoos and it went something like this:

Him: "Promise me you won't get a sleeve, or tattoo your hands, neck, or chest"

Me: "I plan on getting all of the above minus my neck and maybe my chest. You can leave me if its an issue."

Him: "No thanks. Do what you want, I still love you forever!"

If the conversation isn't that simple then run!!!!!

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When you are with someone you have to accept them in all their greatness and their flaws. Similar to what @HaydenRose said, I think we are really quick to voice our opinions about what are significant others are doing, and sometimes you have to just politely but firmly let them know that some things aren't up for discussion and they remember that you were a package deal and realize how insignificant the whole thing is the scheme of things and life goes on.

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Hi, I have a similar problem and I really appreciated reading all of the advise and comments here, mostly reinforcing what was in my heart and mind, that said I would welcome any new feedback as I respect the opinions of this community, I'm 35 and my first tattoo was as young as 16, I'm nowhere near covered in ink but I also have no desire to stop, I'm planning on a large leg piece - so far no issue, last June I was tattooed on my arm in NYC which I had planned to do all my life, my wife's reaction however I could not have planned, she shook and cried uncontrollably! I knew she doesn't really hold a love of the art form as I do but man this was extreme, I've tried to tell her about my leg but she simply just changes the subject or outright ignores me - the rest of life together is heaven and I wouldn't change it for anything but I guess what I'm asking is - how do you live with someone who doesn't respect your interest enough to try and understand?

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I'll take a bit of a contrarian opinion on the wife issue. I think you should discuss it openly and honestly with your wife, be completely upfront about all the details (size, subject, placement, etc.). In a healthy relationship, your wife shouldn't want to outright veto something that is really important to you, but at least should have the opportunity to air out her thoughts and concerns. If she simply vetoes it without being fair-minded, you probably have bigger issues than the tattoo and whether you get it or not, the issues will remain.

From my standpoint, if my wife really had deep-seated issues with a tattoo (thought they were trashy, ugly, whatever), then getting a tattoo isn't worth jeopardizing a marriage. If your marriage is healthy but for this issue, then, again, it's a tattoo...not something worth wrecking a marriage over.

Ok...I'll put my purse down.

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