TrixieFaux

Plainskins say the darndest things...

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Delayed response...I think its slightly different because this is a permanent alteration. It's more like if I had a limb amputated and he had to adapt to that. I think he'll be able to accept it to some degree and we'll see how he feels about any future work when I get to that point; he's either going to learn to like it, or end up hating it and that's his issue. I'm working hard on overcoming how other people will judge me for tattoos I might want, and I have to admit, he's making things more difficult when he should be making them easier for me. I don't want to derail this thread any more than I already have and turn it into a big sob story, but I am having some doubts about us lately for reasons along those lines. I used to feel like he was supportive of me, but lately it seems like we just can't understand each other. I'm finally able to pursue my interests in tattoos, and I feel like he's not really in my corner.

Trust me, this will only get worse.

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I'm a kindergarten teacher (and so far this year I am just wearing long sleeves every day). Another teacher I worked with was covered in tattoos and often several of them would be showing. She told her kindergartners that they were stickers.

This would not work with my kindergarten daughter who knows all about our tattoos. In fact she loves to go to the shop we like because every time we go in she gets to feed the koi fish and they give her a press on tattoo. We have had multiple conversations about how our tattoos are with needles under our skin, hurt, and are forever. She said she wants to wait until she is 50 but I guess we will see.

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This thread should really provide some education on human interaction. I hope to see it referenced in some humanities dissertation. Threads like this also happen to be one of the main reasons I am glad I went to engineering school. People encounter raw/true intellect in the most random of places.

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This would not work with my kindergarten daughter who knows all about our tattoos. In fact she loves to go to the shop we like because every time we go in she gets to feed the koi fish and they give her a press on tattoo. We have had multiple conversations about how our tattoos are with needles under our skin, hurt, and are forever. She said she wants to wait until she is 50 but I guess we will see.

Haha, yeah it doesn't fly w/the kids at our school either. It was just funny. I work at a large urban school. I'd say a good 80% of the parents or more are tattooed...

I have a kindergarten daughter, too! She knows all about tattoos as well and has visited the shop with us many times (although now she's too bummed out by the taxidermy), and she comes with us to tattoo-related art shows.

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Oh tattoo shops and being with close tattooed friends are about the only exceptions. And perhaps LSTers because I know y'all appreciate and have good tattoos.

I have a family wedding coming up later in the month, it will be a tattoo show as well. All of my nieces & nephews, a couple of my cousins, brothers are inked. So sleeves and pants will be rolled up, shirts opened at some point. There will also be a tattoo artist there. It should be interesting.

My cousin, she's 60, just had a lot of recent work done. We had compared ink at my step mother's wake a couple of years back.

Rob

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Delayed response...I think its slightly different because this is a permanent alteration. It's more like if I had a limb amputated and he had to adapt to that. I think he'll be able to accept it to some degree and we'll see how he feels about any future work when I get to that point; he's either going to learn to like it, or end up hating it and that's his issue. I'm working hard on overcoming how other people will judge me for tattoos I might want, and I have to admit, he's making things more difficult when he should be making them easier for me. I don't want to derail this thread any more than I already have and turn it into a big sob story, but I am having some doubts about us lately for reasons along those lines. I used to feel like he was supportive of me, but lately it seems like we just can't understand each other. I'm finally able to pursue my interests in tattoos, and I feel like he's not really in my corner.

He's not. And let me tell you, life is too short to be with someone who doesn't love every bit of you.

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The guy I'm seeing is really into lifting. Has one tattoo, and we're the odd couple... He's ethnic, I'm Hitler's wet dream. He's athletic and I couldn't even hit a curve ball in high school. He's a nice guy, and I'm, well...

Anyway, my left side is pretty well covered, big lower abdominal tattoo, and a little side tattoo. And I intend to get a lot more. I mentioned getting another tattoo on my left side and he says, "Oh, it's so crowded already; you don't want to overdo it." Then I mention it's Lucy's dagger from TCoN, and he starts going on how daggers are cool and I should do it if I really want to.

Support is nice. I'm okay with individual taste, and if I was 50 and in a point in my career where I was considering half-sleeves and my other half said, "Please, I really don't want this," I'd listen to them. It's a matter of how it's presented. Forbidding me to "give up an obsession with tattooing" is not going to end well, but I respect the wishes of my partner, as he respects mine to continue getting tattoos.

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As far as support and the things Synesthesia is talking about...if he's not really in your corner, then you might want to think Why. Does he feel he's more important? His wants/needs/feelings/ideas/opinions are superior or more important than yours? I know there are times when SO's don't agree w/everything, JD and I don't, but it's BIG stuff that hurts a relationship, if there isn't agreement, or compromise of some sort. Body modification, in my eyes, is right up there with politics and religion, in the emotions it can bring to the surface. Some people, for whatever reason, just have such strong reactions/objections to the idea of tattoos. To me, it's like if I was a huge PETA fanatic, and JD a hunter. You can have someone who doesn't care for tattoos be w/someone who does and has several, if the non-caring partner doesn't have such a guttural reaction to them.

I'm not trying to be like dumb him, he doesn't like tattoos, he's the devil. Just, to think about things, talk w/him.

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Thanks for the replies guys, sorry this thread kinda got derailed into an episode of Dr. Phil, haha. We had a talk about it and I think we've been able to reach a compromise based on his standards of beauty (he almost literally said, "put as much dumb shit as you want on your limbs, but just be a little more careful about what goes on your torso," which was kind of my line of thinking anyway). His "off limits" areas corresponded with my own "off limits" areas, proving yet again that communication is key. He was afraid I would start getting my face tattooed or something crazy, I think it had somehow never occurred to him that I had self control. I think with some more exposure to the whole culture of it, he will probably grow more tolerant of it. I've managed to get him into Ink Master, that's a small step in the right direction. :p I've caught him admiring my newest one on a couple occasions, and I had my first one before I met him and he doesn't even seem to notice it. I think he accepts them both as just part of me now, and will probably adapt to any newer pieces in the same way...if not, I'll deal with that when it happens.

I was actually able to bounce ideas off him last night for a future piece without him acting like I said I was getting a body part amputated, that was nice. And I mentioned wanting to get a traditional style bearded lady at some point, and he started out appalled but then actually dared me to find someone to make her pretty, haha.

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Thanks for the replies guys, sorry this thread kinda got derailed into an episode of Dr. Phil, haha. We had a talk about it and I think we've been able to reach a compromise based on his standards of beauty (he almost literally said, "put as much dumb shit as you want on your limbs, but just be a little more careful about what goes on your torso," which was kind of my line of thinking anyway).

Dumb shit? If Mr. Muscles called my tattoos "dumb shit," or "almost did," he'd be on the next thing smoking out of my life. Do you see where he's twisting his opinions into yours?

His "off limits" areas corresponded with my own "off limits" areas, proving yet again that communication is key. He was afraid I would start getting my face tattooed or something crazy, I think it had somehow never occurred to him that I had self control. I think with some more exposure to the whole culture of it, he will probably grow more tolerant of it.

It doesn't matter if they match up. He doesn't get to push you around. He's not going to change, and if he doesn't have the communication skills to talk to you or the trust to assume you wouldn't make major body changes without talking to him, he's not a nice person.

I've managed to get him into Ink Master, that's a small step in the right direction. :p I've caught him admiring my newest one on a couple occasions, and I had my first one before I met him and he doesn't even seem to notice it. I think he accepts them both as just part of me now, and will probably adapt to any newer pieces in the same way...if not, I'll deal with that when it happens.

You deserve someone who accepts what you want to do with your body in the future. It shouldn't be a "hoping and praying he'll still accept me" deal. You're better than that.

I was actually able to bounce ideas off him last night for a future piece without him acting like I said I was getting a body part amputated, that was nice. And I mentioned wanting to get a traditional style bearded lady at some point, and he started out appalled but then actually dared me to find someone to make her pretty, haha.

When he can say, "It's your body, and I love you and respect your decisions no matter what," then you'll know he's the right man. Until then, you need to reconsider. Sounds like he's toying with your feelings and wants to control you.

If you were selfishly tattooing without considering his feelings and discussion, then I'd be jumping on you. He sounds immature and mean-spirited.

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^ I feel like my last post came out wrong. We have a kind of sarcastic way of communicating a lot of the time, the "dumb shit" remark was said laughingly. By "dumb shit" he means whatever "unladylike" things I want, and that was clarified at the time. He really is incredibly nice, to a fault almost. With everything else, he's a pushover, this is one of the only things he feels strongly about. I only mention our limits matching up to show that maybe we were actually on the same page all along, and just not understanding each other because we assumed something different about each other (alas, communication). Once he heard from me that there were things I would never do and get, I think that put him much more at ease. I would love to get to the point where we're both excited about things I want to get (and maybe even both getting tattooed, haha), and maybe that will never happen, but I think he will at the very least be tolerant of it. He came to my last appointment right after he got off work and was there to support me, but as soon as I mentioned getting another I got the whole "You already have 2, do you need more?" lecture, and have been getting it ever since from him. Him actually participating in my brainstorming (and not just moping and trying to convince me not to do it) was a big step for him. And so far, it does seem like once I actually get something, he's fine with it...it's the planning stage that seems to get to him the most.

We're having a tough time right now in general because of a lot of changes in both of our lives, and I think the tattoo disagreements have just pushed everything over the edge and got us both kind of riled up. He did very clearly say during our talk that it's my body and I can do what I want, and he won't love me any less.

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^I don't see anythig wrong with this. It seems like now that you've had a conversation about it, there's more understanding. He doesn't need to like your tattoos, only accept them. My fiance has quirks that I strongly dislike (like taking off his socks with his shoes and leaving dirty socks all over the living room, yeah...) but at the end of the day his strengths outweigh his faults. You should always value the things you love about the person (In your case it seems like your BF is very caring) and not worry about the imperfections, because surprise! Every one has them, and NO ONE is perfect or perfect for you, but that doesn't mean you can't create a life together. My fiance has no tattoos and no plans to get any, and he isn't crazy excited about mine, but he ACCEPTS them and me, which is all that matters at the end of the day. When we met I had one hidden rib tattoo and 5 years later I have a bunch, but it hasn't changed anything. Once getting tattooed affects your relationship, then it's a warning sign, but I sense there are other things going on and you getting tattooed is just a catalyst.

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^ I feel like my last post came out wrong. We have a kind of sarcastic way of communicating a lot of the time, the "dumb shit" remark was said laughingly. By "dumb shit" he means whatever "unladylike" things I want, and that was clarified at the time. He really is incredibly nice, to a fault almost. With everything else, he's a pushover, this is one of the only things he feels strongly about. I only mention our limits matching up to show that maybe we were actually on the same page all along, and just not understanding each other because we assumed something different about each other (alas, communication). Once he heard from me that there were things I would never do and get, I think that put him much more at ease. I would love to get to the point where we're both excited about things I want to get (and maybe even both getting tattooed, haha), and maybe that will never happen, but I think he will at the very least be tolerant of it. He came to my last appointment right after he got off work and was there to support me, but as soon as I mentioned getting another I got the whole "You already have 2, do you need more?" lecture, and have been getting it ever since from him. Him actually participating in my brainstorming (and not just moping and trying to convince me not to do it) was a big step for him. And so far, it does seem like once I actually get something, he's fine with it...it's the planning stage that seems to get to him the most.

We're having a tough time right now in general because of a lot of changes in both of our lives, and I think the tattoo disagreements have just pushed everything over the edge and got us both kind of riled up. He did very clearly say during our talk that it's my body and I can do what I want, and he won't love me any less.

Okay. Not my style, but I think I understand, now. (Also, if he uses a lot of vulgarity, that's going to wear thin over time. Trust me, from someone who can cuss like a sailor.)

A word of advice, though, that should be taken with a big grain or two of salt: I write, I work in the field of medicine (which means a lot of hours, starting my second of seventh straight night), and I have tattoos. It becomes rather hard to "accept" these things if your significant other doesn't love them or have tremendous reverence for them. These aren't little things that can be changed, like leaving clothes in the dryer too long or not washing dishes immediately after a meal. The major things in my life aren't going away. Acceptance (especially of something actively disliked) too often turns into a sore spot. I've seen it happen.

I'm only seeing your side, so I'm not seeing that he's bringing you home roses and telling you how beautiful, smart, and interesting you are, but life is too short not to be with someone who builds you up, buttercup.

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A coworker once asked me: "aren't you afraid of what will happen in hell?" I asked for some clarification on this and he said " I was taught that what you have tattooed on you will be what you're tortured by in hell".

My punk rock pin-up and geisha girl can torture me any day; I'd avoid the cobra & dagger and Edgar Allan Poe, though (who knows what horrors Poe could come up with?!)

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A coworker once asked me: "aren't you afraid of what will happen in hell?" I asked for some clarification on this and he said " I was taught that what you have tattooed on you will be what you're tortured by in hell".

What about hipster girls that have one word or a tiny circle tattooed on them? That would be some creative torture.

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A coworker once asked me: "aren't you afraid of what will happen in hell?" I asked for some clarification on this and he said " I was taught that what you have tattooed on you will be what you're tortured by in hell".

At the time I had only an anchor and a flaming lantern, which I guess you could come up with some pretty inventive torture ideas with. I know some Christians are quite against tattoos, but that's some superstitious craziness right there (and I'm a christian!).

Raised a Catholic. Still consider myself "Christian" in the non-judgemental sense of the word. I look at the question and answer that spending an eternity interacting with and dealing with the shit tattooed to me, is way more pleasant than a year or two of what my current job is. Gotta love people that threaten you with their idea of hell. Unbeknownst that your personal hell just might be having to tolerate that person's presence.

Fearsome, Terrifying, and Dreadful are shit I would rather deal with at the moment, or any moment, than Repetitive, Boring, Unrewarding. Looking at my tattoos and thinking about what made me decide to get them makes me feel better, and pretty much every tattoo I have gotten was based on the fact I just like tattoos, and video games, and metal.

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My mother, yesterday evening after seeing photos of my first piece: "Oh, that's really beautiful! Well done. Are you sure it's permanent?"

- - - Updated - - -

(she's exempt from the Unforgivable Pedantry shown on Latest Tattoo Lowdown - she made my skin so her 'rights' trump Willem's ;))

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Thanks for the replies guys' date=' sorry this thread kinda got derailed into an episode of Dr. Phil, haha. We had a talk about it and I think we've been able to reach a compromise based on his standards of beauty (he almost literally said, "put as much dumb shit as you want on your limbs, but just be a little more careful about what goes on your torso," which was kind of my line of thinking anyway). His "off limits" areas corresponded with my own "off limits" areas, proving yet again that communication is key. He was afraid I would start getting my face tattooed or something crazy, I think it had somehow never occurred to him that I had self control. I think with some more exposure to the whole culture of it, he will probably grow more tolerant of it. I've managed to get him into Ink Master, that's a small step in the right direction. :p I've caught him admiring my newest one on a couple occasions, and I had my first one before I met him and he doesn't even seem to notice it. I think he accepts them both as just part of me now, and will probably adapt to any newer pieces in the same way...if not, I'll deal with that when it happens. I was actually able to bounce ideas off him last night for a future piece without him acting like I said I was getting a body part amputated, that was nice. And I mentioned wanting to get a traditional style bearded lady at some point, and he started out appalled but then actually dared me to find someone to make her pretty, haha.[/quote']
Dumb shit? If Mr. Muscles called my tattoos "dumb shit' date='" or "almost did," he'd be on the next thing smoking out of my life. Do you see where he's twisting his opinions into yours? It doesn't matter if they match up. He doesn't get to push you around. He's not going to change, and if he doesn't have the communication skills to talk to you or the trust to assume you wouldn't make major body changes without talking to him, he's not a nice person. You deserve someone who accepts what you want to do with your body in the future. It shouldn't be a "hoping and praying he'll still accept me" deal. You're better than that. When he can say, "It's your body, and I love you and respect your decisions no matter what," then you'll know he's the right man. Until then, you need to reconsider. Sounds like he's toying with your feelings and wants to control you. If you were selfishly tattooing without considering his feelings and discussion, then I'd be jumping on you. He sounds immature and mean-spirited.[/quote']
^ I feel like my last post came out wrong. We have a kind of sarcastic way of communicating a lot of the time' date=' the "dumb shit" remark was said laughingly. By "dumb shit" he means whatever "unladylike" things I want, and that was clarified at the time. He really is incredibly nice, to a fault almost. With everything else, he's a pushover, this is one of the only things he feels strongly about. I only mention our limits matching up to show that maybe we were actually on the same page all along, and just not understanding each other because we assumed something different about each other (alas, communication). Once he heard from me that there were things I would never do and get, I think that put him much more at ease. I would love to get to the point where we're both excited about things I want to get (and maybe even both getting tattooed, haha), and maybe that will never happen, but I think he will at the very least be tolerant of it. He came to my last appointment right after he got off work and was there to support me, but as soon as I mentioned getting another I got the whole "You already have 2, do you need more?" lecture, and have been getting it ever since from him. Him actually participating in my brainstorming (and not just moping and trying to convince me not to do it) was a big step for him. And so far, it does seem like once I actually get something, he's fine with it...it's the planning stage that seems to get to him the most. We're having a tough time right now in general because of a lot of changes in both of our lives, and I think the tattoo disagreements have just pushed everything over the edge and got us both kind of riled up. He did very clearly say during our talk that it's my body and I can do what I want, and he won't love me any less.[/quote']

Going to side here with the ladies. It appears he has you self esteem on the ropes, thus controlling you.

post-6005-146168860296_thumb.jpg

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My mother' date=' yesterday evening after seeing photos of my first piece: "Oh, that's really beautiful! Well done. Are you sure it's permanent?" - - - Updated - - - (she's exempt from the Unforgivable Pedantry shown on Latest Tattoo Lowdown - she made my skin so her 'rights' trump Willem's ;))[/quote']

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's funny shit :D

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