Jump to content

Relationships and tattoos


gougetheeyes
 Share

Recommended Posts

Compromises are OK, but not when only one member of the relationship is compromising! Also, tattoos are permanent. They are part of you. I like to say Vermont will always be my home and is a "part" of me, but I've compromised and accepted that it makes more sense for my husband to live closer to NYC. That is the biggest compromise I've made in our relationship, but he knows if he ever takes away a hobby of mine (ex. getting tattooed) were going to have some issues. I would never dream of discouraging him from following something he loves unless it was damaging his health or the relationship. Just my $0.02.

Well then, it appears that we are in the same boat. I agreed to move to Boise from SoCal so that she could be closer to her family. I don't like it here, but I love my wife enough to live here for a few more years until we make a move to Portland. I have been supportive in just about everything my wife has pursued and I have made sacrifices for her happiness. Of course, she's done the same for me as well.

Would you dump your husband if he suddenly decided he didn't like your tattoos?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe I've decided to fight this battle and let other other battles pass.

...I feel that it's a harmless way to express myself. My wife sees otherwise.

BTW...I would almost kill to be back in Simi Valley. You should be grateful to be living in such a great place.

Good luck with the battle. I def agree with you that it is harmless. Hell, at least your tattoos are of a good quality.

As for my location, yeah, part of me will always miss Boston, but I do love it here in SoCal. Been here over 15 years, it's home now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I made a halfass bs promise to not add more tattoos to my neck shortly after starting to date this girl, not really meaning it because I thought it was just pillow talk ("I love your neck, let me just have that one spot" "Sure babe"). Lesson learned about how serious that promise was, I figured it was fairly obvious I'd get more eventually.

When I said I was about to do that (phone call, naturally) I got the DONT YOU FUCKING DARE DO THAT and after some bickering I got the FINE GO AHEAD AND DO IT (which never really means 'fine' but we all know that, I just heard all I wanted to hear)and never lived it down. Years later even after we aren't together if it comes up she'll still say how much she hates that bird hahah

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I made a halfass bs promise to not add more tattoos to my neck shortly after starting to date this girl, not really meaning it because I thought it was just pillow talk ("I love your neck, let me just have that one spot" "Sure babe"). Lesson learned about how serious that promise was, I figured it was fairly obvious I'd get more eventually.

When I said I was about to do that (phone call, naturally) I got the DONT YOU FUCKING DARE DO THAT

Some people seem to think that being in a relationship means finding ways to control the other person. Seems kind of twisted.

You're a tattooer! Of course you were going to get that spot tattooed!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I got my first tattoo with my girlfriend. We both got matching geometric pieces but in different places. Hers on the wrist, mine inner bicep.

Since then I've had 5 more on my arm down to the elbow. She loves my tattoos and loves the look of tattooed guys so I couldn't be happier.

The only thing she hates is the healing process because we can't get too passionate in bed so to speak. Anyone else have this problem?

TBH I think I'm really lucky to have such a cool girlfriend.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I got my first tattoo with my girlfriend. We both got matching geometric pieces but in different places. Hers on the wrist, mine inner bicep.

Since then I've had 5 more on my arm down to the elbow. She loves my tattoos and loves the look of tattooed guys so I couldn't be happier.

The only thing she hates is the healing process because we can't get too passionate in bed so to speak. Anyone else have this problem?

TBH I think I'm really lucky to have such a cool girlfriend.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

All depends on where the tattoo in question is...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

For some strange reason....I really want to see Dana tattoo those flames....ha ha ha!

:D

Haha, sorry Bunny, definitely not letting you in on what day that will be. It's going to be bad enough for the both of us (Dana and I) as it is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...
Another one with a plainskinned partner here!

I've just recently started getting tattooed and I only have 8 (all on the one upper arm) but plenty of plans for more. My husband loves and appreciates my tattoos almost as much as I do but it's just not his thing (yet?). I secretly find that quite pleasing, I think I like that being tattooed is my thing rather than our thing, mind you we do have the children, that surely is a grand collaboration ;)

HettyKet - Although my husband has tattoos, he has stopped getting them, and probably won't get any more. His are easily hidden even in short sleeves, since they are on his upper arms and shoulders, and he doesn't choose to display them in public. Because I have half sleeves, mine are more public, and to most viewers I am the tattooed one, and people assume that he is not. I kinda like that, because like HettyKet, I like that getting tattoos is "my thing," and that is probably what others assume when they see us. I think he likes it too, being "the guy with the tattooed wife," and by the same token, I like being "the tattooed wife."

I also like that in spite of my initial disinterest and reluctance, I eventually took over the tattoo leadership in our relationship, and he dropped out.

- - - Updated - - -

It's funny coming back to this thread now that I'm single, since my previous posts from a while ago I was in a relationship. He still does not have any tattoos, but all I know is I definitely want someone that has a major interest in it.

I guess it's safe to say it's a fetish of mine, since it's a big part of my life...

So the next one to come along it may have to be a requirement :)

Just feels like a waste of time trying to explain this whole culture to a newbie....I think it's a big part of understanding a person on a fundamental level to begin with, and if you gotta explain it's a little draining...

I think if you have extensive coverage, an understanding of the culture by your partner is a "must." As you move toward becoming heavily tattooed, it can seem easy - you get one, get another, get a quarter sleeve, extend it to half, well, gotta balance it with something on the other arm, etc. Before you know it, you are heavily tattooed. But I think it is easy for us to loose track of how that is perceived by others. I mean, getting half of your body covered in ink, with all of the requisite pain, and possible negative public reaction can be really hard for the average person to get their arms around - it is kind of mind boggling. So having a partner that understands why a person would want to do such a thing is important. Even though an untattooed partner can come to accept your tattoo passion, I really think that he/she has to have experienced the urge and felt the needle several times to truly understand your motivation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

.... I think if you have extensive coverage, an understanding of the culture by your partner is a "must." As you move toward becoming heavily tattooed, it can seem easy - you get one, get another, get a quarter sleeve, extend it to half, well, gotta balance it with something on the other arm, etc. Before you know it, you are heavily tattooed. But I think it is easy for us to loose track of how that is perceived by others. I mean, getting half of your body covered in ink, with all of the requisite pain, and possible negative public reaction can be really hard for the average person to get their arms around - it is kind of mind boggling. So having a partner that understands why a person would want to do such a thing is important. Even though an untattooed partner can come to accept your tattoo passion, I really think that he/she has to have experienced the urge and felt the needle several times to truly understand your motivation.

My wife always went along with me being the only one us having tattoos. Sometimes when money was tight she'd want to know where I got the funds for 4 hours of chair time, but I really have no other hobby and I work hard.

I almost stopped getting more ink by 2005 and was considering having the worst of it lasered off... but landed in the right shop with the right people and took off from there. My side of the family, almost all of us have 1 or more tattoos. Think only my 2 brothers and sister don't have any. My one son, niece & nephews.. well covered. My wife's family.. zero tattoos and they don't understand the culture. It would be like explaining the color blue to someone that has been blind since birth.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Beez, your post could have been written by me - I feel almost exactly the same way!

Once I got past hubby's request that I get a tattoo and got my first one, I started to become almost obsessed with tattoos. I researched them, learned about their history, and constantly sought out for pictures of them. It was like I had jumped off of a cliff - I was in a free-fall.

Like you, I love looking at my own tattoos - I don't think it is weird to admit (at least to folks who understand!). It has been years since I first got tattooed, but at least once a week when I'm getting dressed or showering, I look in the mirror and say "Wow!" I think my tattoos are beautiful, and I love them. I marvel that my bare skin is no longer visible, has been transformed in to something colorful. I remember the day I started my first half-sleeve, I looked in the mirror and thought "This is the last day my arm will look like this." It sort of gave me goose bumps. I really like that I have made my body the way I want it (well, with my first tattoo, I actually made my body the way my husband wanted it, but I then took over the driver's seat and stomped on the gas).

I also realized that I found his tattoos very attractive - something that I had sort of been denial about before he nudged me into the tattoo world. I think that when I first saw his tattoos, they sort of subconciously cemented his physical attraction to me. I'm really sad that he decided to stop getting them.

Like you I notice tattoos immediately. I find my self looking at untattooed people and thinking thinks like, "Wow, she would look beautiful with a half-sleeve." I really think that a lot of people - particularly women - look incomplete without tattoos!

I really like your scene about "the big reveal!" That would be delicious! Since I'm married, that is not really going to happen with me like that, but we do play a little reveal "game" sometimes. We might be out at a nice restaurant and I might make some movement that exposes part of one of my sleeves, and he will say, "Oh my, I see you are tattooed." And I will say something like "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am...quite extensively, actually." and he will say, "Well, so am I." I say, "Oh really? I'd love to see." And he will say "And I'd love to see yours too." And on and on and we have a lot of fun with it, and sometimes it leads to...ahem...interesting things!

I'm really hoping I can convince my husband to restart getting tattooed. I'd love to see him get at least half sleeves so we could share the experience both ways as I continue on my tattoo projects.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am tattooed and married to a man who does not have any tattoos. I'm not extensively tattooed (yet!), but I have 9 and two of them are quite large. My husband was always attracted to tattooed women even though he never made the plunge himself. He's very supportive and actually always telling me that I should get more, haha. I think he was just as excited as I was about the large thigh tattoo I just got, and he loves it.

I don't think someone has to have tattoos in order to appreciate and understand the culture. But there are people (like my mother... and sister-in-law) who don't appreciate it or understand it and have no desire to. And of course, I could never have had a successful relationship with someone in that camp, as even when I only had one small one, my plan was always been to get more.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is always super interesting to me.

My husband and I were friends for about a year before we first started dating, when I first met him through mutual friends, I was working the front desk at a tattoo shop. I had my back and calf done, and was going to get started on my ¾ sleeve. He had just gotten out of a long term relationship, where he told me his ex gf didn't like the idea of him getting tattoos, which I thought was weird as no one I had ever been with had issues with that.

Fast forward 8 years later and he's gotten his arms sleeved, he has a couple things on his back, and he's currently getting his leg sleeved. I've gotten my other arm sleeved, and am working on getting more stuff on my legs. Where we differ is probably subject matter. Some of my tattoos are not really his style, but I don't particularly care as I am the one wearing them haha. We keep our finances largely separate so we each get them if we save for them independently.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As I said earlier in this thread, it was at my husband's request that I got my first tattoo that led to me getting many more on my own. He absolutely loves my tattoos and finds them extremely attractive, and has always been attracted to tattooed women. After I got my first one, he told me that after we met and fell in love, the only thing he wanted to change about me was that he wished I had tattoos! Haha! he got his wish, and then some! He is super supportive and is always asking about my tattoo plans, making suggestions, and good naturedly prodding me to get more (although I think he now knows I'm hooked, and he doesn't have to ask!)

Sometimes I wonder if he stopped getting his own tattoos because I started getting mine? Perhaps once I got tattoos it satisfied some sort of need in him that he previously satisfied by getting his own ink?

Dieselkat - Since your husband is attracted to tattooed women, do you think that your being tattooed figured into his initial attraction to you?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...