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Post shitty things you have been doing recently


Zillah
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We all drove like that back in the day. I had a beer holder screwed to the driver's door on all my cars for a while. I have no doubts in my driving ability while gravely impaired, but I have no confidence in the morons who try to run into me for some reason. So now I drive a lot safer and limit myself to a set amount of drinks and surely no smokables.

- - - Updated - - -

It finally happened, my wife passed away on 6/13. Me and my one son were with her and also my sister in law who was a dear friend of hers. She was not responsive at all the last few days in hospice, but we all told her we loved her and said other nice things.

I had her cremated as she wished, it was in her will if anyone wanted to see it. A few in her family were surprised that there was no viewing, but she didn't want that and wanted to be remembered as she looked in better days. I made the arrangements with my sister in law who has been a great strength all along.

Everything went as well as could be expected. I'm still in awe of the turn out Monday night at the funeral home. Many flowers, mass cards were sent. It was SRO, people had to wait in the lobby to pay their respects. We ran out of memorial cards (had 150) and the parking lot was full. Again, I'm one of those guys who could never say a bad word about their wife. We almost made 31 years together, 13 days shy.

Today I'm getting the house back in order and will go back to work tomorrow just to keep my mind busy. I have a memorial tattoo for her in mind and will have it done along with some other work in the fall.

So sorry. May her memory bring you joy even through the sorrow.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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@Colored Guy @El Domago said it best. It only slows. Thanks for being an awesome dude.

Edit:

I've been drinking lately. Nothing intense or over the edge. Just drinking with people who I call family. NA was something that I tried out, and it very nearly made sense, but I just can't get down with the whole higher power thing. I appreciate all the support from LSTers over the past couple weeks. This is just one of those things that is too personal to say in words, let alone on the internet. I wish all those who are dealing with alcohol and drug troubles the best. I've just found a different path, I suppose.

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Hey @MadeIndelible no preaching or judgement but look into Refuge Recovery a brand new book by Noah Levine that lays out a Buddhist approach to sobriety and was specifically designed to avoid all that Higher Power and God talk. Noah's been clean for twenty plus years and he's helped a lot of good people I know including me with my own path.

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@Colored Guy @El Domago said it best. It only slows. Thanks for being an awesome dude.

Edit:

I've been drinking lately. Nothing intense or over the edge. Just drinking with people who I call family. NA was something that I tried out, and it very nearly made sense, but I just can't get down with the whole higher power thing. I appreciate all the support from LSTers over the past couple weeks. This is just one of those things that is too personal to say in words, let alone on the internet. I wish all those who are dealing with alcohol and drug troubles the best. I've just found a different path, I suppose.

Obviously this is your choice, but if you ever decide to return to sobriety, it may be helpful to go to AA meetings. I know some people who have never had a problem with alcohol manifest, just drugs, but find the AA meetings more helpful. Also, it takes a while to find a meeting or group of people you click with. I don't know if these are the issues you are dealing with, but I know so many people drop out because they don't feel like they fit in with the ideals or people in the groups. But that's so far from the truth... When they say "it works if you work it" what that means to me is that you mold the program to your individual beliefs and needs. I have a friend who does not believe in God or anything like that, so instead replaces GOD with Group-of-Drunks and turns it over to his friends in the program.

I don't want to sway you, just providing some literature in case you decide to give it another whack. You're always welcome to PM me, etc. It took my husband a good 4 years of going to the rooms and outpatient on and off again before it finally stuck. Were celebrating 7 months tomorrow. Every time you come back you're stronger.

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Obviously this is your choice, but if you ever decide to return to sobriety, it may be helpful to go to AA meetings. I know some people who have never had a problem with alcohol manifest, just drugs, but find the AA meetings more helpful. Also, it takes a while to find a meeting or group of people you click with. I don't know if these are the issues you are dealing with, but I know so many people drop out because they don't feel like they fit in with the ideals or people in the groups. But that's so far from the truth... When they say "it works if you work it" what that means to me is that you mold the program to your individual beliefs and needs. I have a friend who does not believe in God or anything like that, so instead replaces GOD with Group-of-Drunks and turns it over to his friends in the program.

I don't want to sway you, just providing some literature in case you decide to give it another whack. You're always welcome to PM me, etc. It took my husband a good 4 years of going to the rooms and outpatient on and off again before it finally stuck. Were celebrating 7 months tomorrow. Every time you come back you're stronger.

I could have not said it better. I've seen AA work for people that had dual addictions, not saying it applies to you, but you may be more comfortable there. I like the group-of-drunks thing, I never heard it before and it makes a ton of sense.

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Big hugs @Colored Guy, and deepest sympathies. Thanks for sharing your journey here, and I hope you can find comfort in the days to follow.

I think I'm doing worse now than last week, the finality is creeping in slowly. There is so much to do when someone else dies, I can't even imagine who is going to clean up after me, but I should start getting rid of my things soon. Hospice has a support group that is local, I may take advantage of that just to get out and talk to others in the same boat.

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I think I'm doing worse now than last week, the finality is creeping in slowly. There is so much to do when someone else dies, I can't even imagine who is going to clean up after me, but I should start getting rid of my things soon. Hospice has a support group that is local, I may take advantage of that just to get out and talk to others in the same boat.

Sounds like a good idea going to the support group. Do you have someone to help you with the mundane stuff while you are grieving?

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Sounds like a good idea going to the support group. Do you have someone to help you with the mundane stuff while you are grieving?

I looked up a support group that meets in the fall and spring, you have to be 3-months under your belt first. I have lots of help, people drop off food, offer to help me around the house which I am accepting. Having our first family party this weekend and it'll be weird as hell I'm sure.

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Divorced. Moving in with my mom in VT. Had to cancel all of my tattoo appointments in NYC. Probably won't be getting tattooed until I can afford to travel. Sucks. Sucks. Sucks.

I probably will be preoccupied with life stuff and melancholy over not being able to get tattooed... so I will be fairly absent from here for some time. Thanks everyone for being so cool and getting rad tattoos. I shall return...

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