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Would this be considered offensive?


Synesthesia
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So I'm not exactly the most socially adept person even in the best circumstances, and certainly not when it comes to tattoos or delicate scenarios...looking for feedback on this idea.

I was working on a leg sleeve with Jason Reeder, when he unexpectedly passed away before its completion. Because he's the only guy I ever had in mind to do it for me (and I had so many more things I wanted him to do for me), I feel like it would be disrespectful to have someone else finish it, so I'm stopping it where it is. Maybe someday I'll have it finished, but for now, it's just too hard to think of anyone else working on what I considered "his," I gave him a lot of freedom with it. I'm pretty bummed about the whole thing and have taken myself out of the tattoo game for a while so I can get my head straight. The saddest thing about all this is Jason's wife recently started piercing at the same shop he worked in, and I always intended on seeing her to get some work done also. I still would someday when I'm in a better state of mind, and part of me thinks it might be a nice gesture to be like "Hey, Jason did this for me, I thought you might like to see it in person" and show her my tattoos. He was really proud of what he had done for me and talked about how his wife thought it was a great project too. I think it might bring her some joy to see his work in person and know how much I appreciated what he had done for me. But I also don't know this woman at all, and I'm afraid it might come off creepy at best and painful at worst. Honestly, I want a little bit of closure myself and I'm worried this is a selfish way to go about it.

:(

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I think there is often a personal tie with the artist. This should bring back happy memories for her and I think that leaving the piece unfinished is not only a good thing to remind you of that tie, but also adds an immense amount of story to the piece to treasure and share when you have come to grips with the loss. As for sharing with the wife, why not seek out and ask someone else in the same shop? They would probably know how she has progressed in her grieving.

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i loved everything pidjones said

i'd say the piece is very much finished

but of course the decision is yours ya know

no right and wrong

and oddly (or not) i think the loss prior to its intended completion

makes the piece very special in its current state

while of course being unintended

i would guess that his wife would enjoy seeing it

as for the when part - pidjones idea hits the mark for me

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Finished or unfinished is certainly fine either way with a situation like that, I'd say.

Possibly he has a friend or two who could respect what he's done with it and bring the art to some closure, too.

If I were the partner, I'd certainly want to see the old work. Just ask her before whipping it out. She might even have some ideas about who he might have liked to see it through, too.

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This is more of a general comment on bereavement than this specific situation, but my observation is that people handle things in different ways. Sometimes you will meet someone who wants to talk about their deceased family member / spouse etc. and you can see that it's clearly helping them and it's part of their way of addressing things. On the other hand, there are people who are less keen on talking and here in Ireland at least I know that some people find it really difficult when, for months, they have to hear people's condolences endlessly. I fell into the latter category! It's not that I hate people, but I'm just not a big talker in that sense.

I think in the situation described the key, at least as far as talking to the lady about the work you have, would be to suss out whether she is open to talking about something that personal.

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Possibly he has a friend or two who could respect what he's done with it and bring the art to some closure, too.

Yeah, that's a good thought. And "closure" might not actually be finishing the piece as intended, but maybe just bringing it to some intermediate stopping point that gives nod to the fact that it's not finished, but that now it is. If that makes sense.

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