deleplank

not so much about what kind of tree, but more about what artist has done tree tattoos that nail what you want to look at forever. Especially in that location.

I do not have the experience to offer advice on the type of tree, but I offer my sincere condolences on your loss.
I will say, though, that going with an image that speaks to you makes more sense than any advice we can give. Certainly, find an artist who has the ability to transform your feelings into art. I had a similar experience with my last tattoo. As I looked at various designs, one kept pulling me back over and over - it was that one that I gave to my artist and then talked about how it could be changed to reflect my personal feelings. If you do that, it will have deep meaning to you....and that's who it needs to impact most, IMHO.

Brian I totally understand, I have several other tattoos but for some reason the tree is "speaking" to me

i thought i wanted a tree for my first tattoo but when i started looking through portfolios i saw all these awesome tattoos that weren't trees. so i decided to get something else (followed by many other tattoos that also aren't trees) and i'm much happier because trees aren't really that exciting.
edit to add: if it is going to be a smaller tattoo maybe focus on part of the tree. maybe maple leaves, cherry blossoms, or a pine cone and pine needles.

@deleplank I am very, very sorry to hear of your loss. I cannot imagine, so sending you massive amounts of light and hugs. So, do you mind if I ask some questions? I think the idea of a tree is cool. Do you have other tattoos? Where would you want it? In my opinion, the type of tree is a personal choice. I don't think that there's any one answer. What resonates with you?

Im not sure what sort of tree you should get. Its really up to you, as it seems like this is a pretty personal thing for you.
As far as your experience goes, Im aware of a traditional symbol that might reflect what has happened to you. In Japanese iconography, the cherry blossom (sakura) is an image used to symbolize a life lost too early. Cherry blossoms are very beautiful, but also fragile. They only bloom for a few weeks before they are gone. They symbolize somethong that is very beautiful, but that only lasts so long; Life. They are often paired with images of samurai who give their life in battle and have their life snatched away from them too early. Cherry blossoms have been tattoo motifs for hundreds of years, and make beautiful tattoos.
 
Something to consider. Do some research, tho, as this is only my interpretation of Japanese motif.

Brian I totally understand, I have several other tattoos but for some reason the tree is "speaking" to me