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Hello, So I'm new here and reddit is just awful people so, I wanted advice. So for some reason, I allowed a tattoo be blasted down my arm. My fault I know. I'm very fit and complimented all the time how tone my arms are. So, I got a sun over a lotus tattoo. Everyone loves it. But for some bizzare reason, I can not look at myself in the mirror FOR 5 MONTHS with this tattoo. I have other tattoos, this being the 1st big and really visible tattoo. I feel like I have body dysmorphia or some shit. Its so weird. My friend is actually going to my tattoo guy BECAUSE of my tattoo. So, I don't know if anyone else has gone thru this? The tattoo looks weird to me. Not anyone else. I didn't want flowers and leaves because flowers remind me of funeral homes. I'm very yoga, my tattoos are suns, moons, lotuses. Zen shit. But I guess because I said I would never tattoo my upper arm and then tattooed my upper arm, I'm like omg what have I done?! Everyone loves this tattoo. My mother in law says it should be on stained glass and my own mom thinks it's so beautiful. There is not 1 shaky line. Not 1 flaw within this tattoo. He made the sun rays where they wrap around and up my shoulder. And it's just so jarring to me to look at. I don't get it.. or maybe just Cause I'm an idiot. It's not a broken up flow. Guy at the gas station covered in tattoos even loves it. Lol. I can't look at it. It's so weird. Just wondering what the hell is going on?! I've got other tattoos planned out, I love tattoos. I didn't want such a big tattoo and it turned out that way. I will say this, I have multiple sclerosis and went thru a relapse and I'm not sure if it messed with my brain somewhat?!?! Cause I was fine before that. I do have severe anxiety. But it was also winter when I got the tattoo. And now because it's on such display I'm questioning my design and its not at all a sleeve, its actually everyone seriously loves it. Except me. My tattoo guy drew the sun rays on me and i loved it. Then i pivked it apart. The rays r too wide, and too big and this and that. My tattoo guy is phenomenal...busts out the measuring tape and not a crooked line in any of hos work. Its just not ur typical flow of a tattoo. Like flowers and leaves flow. I wanted something different. Something that goes with my style and like i said, flowers like roses and stuff, noone buys me flowers because i hate flowers and im sorry to the flower people. Its just they remind me of funeral homes and all that. This was a custom tattoo by my tattoo artist that knows my style, and not his typical traditional style and he works with me like im a glass doll...lol. he free handed my sun and he is not cheap. And he does phenomenal work. So, i didnt cheap out. So why cant i look at I t? I feel like i ruined my arm i guess and my image. My husband says I upgraded...lol. in fact, he loves me in tattoos and my kids love it. So wtf is wrong with me? Has anyone ever experienced this? Sorry for the long post. It's should be noted, I saod out loud before getting the tattoo...mthos is not a good idea to put this here but I did it anyway. I think I didn't listen to my intuition and because I already know I'm a complete basket case, I should've listened to myself. Removal is not an option, I wint do that....plus, my tattoo guy says his tattoos dont come off...lol.  I got a forearm tattoo a month ago and I'm completely fine with it.  

Good luck. Job hunting sucks. I got laid off from a company after 20 years and it took six months to find a job. I was in the dreaded “middle” management role at an IT company. A little over two years later my new company was  bought out and they did a “restructuring” which means the people doing the work get fired so the people sitting on their fat asses get fatter.  I couldn’t find what I really wanted so I just retired. Might be a good time to think about switching fields.