canarycoal

I wanted to get the sides of my head done a while ago, but chose not to. I still want the same tattoos but I think I'm going to move them to my arms.
I really don't think I am going to get any tattoos past the hairline/on the face. I don't think it would help people's confidence in me in my chosen fields unfortunately. Also the pain and healing on the face scares me a bit.

it wasn't too bad although it feels like I'm constantly falling on my left knee. Its a black cat so what did I expect. :p

Just managed to sit through my first tattoo, finally, yay! Done by Anthony Cole at Silver Needles in Southend. Very happy with my choice. Thanks so much to everyone on this forum for helping to create such a great resource, I learnt a lot here.

Round 2 with Chad yesterday. Sorry about the sideways picture I can't fix it on my phone

My recommendation is to stop looking at your tattoo with a flashlight. That shit is just weird.

I got my first-ever hand-poked tattoo last night from our own @cltattooing:

It's also my first scorpion. Let's be honest: I needed one.

Well.....I went to Virginia Beach the Thursday night before the Richmond Tattoo show and woke up Friday morning to go to Ancient Art Tattoo (VaBch) to be tattooed by Scott Sterling!
What was going to be a small banger to palm size tattoo.....turned into this........
Due to a lot of weight loss....I do have a roll on my side.....Scott used the fact that I have this and made it so the mouth opens and closes.....LMAO!
Very fresh photos....sorry the photos isn't better!

Gah, @keepcalm and all others, I certainly feel you in regards to parental disapproval! (although my mom did get a tattoo on her hip in an ill-advised attempt to bond and understand me and recently got it removed...and it was waiting for me in a tupperware container full of salt when I got home. She had a tummy tuck but asked the surgeon to save the skin for her. Creepy? Yes. Sweet? Yes. Fucking weird as hell? Don't even get me started)(ah, family). (y'all want pics?) (also this is my least fav tattoo, i am soooo glad to get it covered now! never would have done it unless she had agreed to also do the same tho)
My parents have never liked tattoos. My dad didn't speak to me for months after he found out about the (little teeny tiny) flower on my back, and my mom just looked at me with sad, disappointed eyes. I really wanted more tattoos, and when I decided to go for a highly visible tattoo on my forearm at 23, I knew I was doing something that might cause my parents to literally never speak to me again. It was fucking tough!!! And then all the guilt for why I would do something that I knew would basically divorce me from my parents, what a bad kid, blah blah blah. Lots of guilt. But I still loved my tattoos.
At some point before I got that first, highly visible tattoo, I showed my mom a picture of some cherry blossoms that stretched across a woman's entire body. I thought they were beautiful and I was sure my mom would feel the same way, even though they were tattoos --- NOPE!! And it was at that point that I realized that just because my mom didn't like something didn't mean it was not cool/right/good-looking/whatever - and that I could like something independent of her and that my opinion is still a valid one.
As I collected more tattoos over the years, my parents began speaking more about what i would do at work, and what was I supposed to do at black tie events? At the time I was on the film festival circuit and attending opening galas pretty regularly, so it wasn't an out of nowhere question...but nowhere did I feel comfortable saying "I LIKE the way my tattoos look in dresses!". In fact I just felt humiliated and ashamed. Again, this feeling of guilt - how could I be so shortsighted and do this to myself? Do I not care about my future? Why would I have wasted all this education and this good job etc etc etc ad nauseam - it's really hard to get your parents' disapproving voices out of your head, even when you think they've been banished!
Anyway - guess what - they can be covered up if you really want them to be. I attended a black tie event two weeks ago with my What Tattoos? look in full force. Long sleeves. Long gown or pants. NOT HARD TO DO.
I did attend a few events this summer with tattoos out in full force. Surprisingly difficult for me to do because of those nasty voices in my head, but I got over it. (I'm 31 now) I personally gauge the event, the hosts, where I am (seattle is fine to show tattoos, oklahoma is decidedly UNWELCOMING). I make a point of looking spectacular to the normies so that not only are they embarrassed if they've trash talked tattooed people to me (more common than one might think) and later see my tattoos, but that maybe it gives 'em something to think about.
In Oklahoma, when I am home visiting family, I keep mostly covered up. This keeps me from dealing with the huffs and puffs, stupid thick tension, and any assaults on my character or future. I used to feel very comfortable with this, because I'm not rebelling or trying to piss my parents off with tattoos (though they have certainly leveled those accusations before), so why poke the bear if it's not necessary? But now I feel kinda bummed that I can't be myself around them. Or like walk downstairs in a tank top. And I was just in OK for thanksgiving and I felt totally trashy and hated myself for getting tattoos. ?!?!! I LOVE TATTOOS so that was a weird feeling for me - I was just basically sucking up the disapproval in the air, I think! bc i adore my tattoos.
I was just home recently and my mom had to use a fabric glue to stick the collar of my dress in a certain place - not to cover a tattoo, but so that the dress would fall right - and she moved the collar and saw some tattoo and made the worst noise...it made me feel bad, but whatever. It's okay if we all like different things! My mom gets hella plastic surgery, I'm not into that kind of body mod, so that's what I relate the tattoo thing to at the moment.
I stopped expecting my parents to treat me nicely many years ago, @keepcalm. Eventually I ported it all into a "them" problem and have minimized my contact with them. I keep my tattoos covered up, though they are aware of them, and I choose to interact with them about different topics, and I refuse to be baited into an argument regarding tattoos. I guess what I'm trying to say is what many have said before me in this thread - wishing/hoping/waiting for parental approval that's never gonna happen is a dumb game that will make you feel bad. It's okay if they don't like tattoos - they don't have to - but they don't have to be jerks about it. If they are gonna be jerks about it, minimize your exposure and choose only to interact with them in neutral territory. If you're comfortable with it, cover up and just show your tattoos off to your friends who think they're cool as hell!

This may or may not prove useful / interesting, and it may or may not be too much information to share on the Internet, but below is an exact word-for-word copy and pasted conversation I had with my dad a few years ago about my tattoos. Needless to say, this is the last time tattoos have ever been an issue between us, and I'm happy to say that both my dad and stepmom are cool as hell about my tattoos now (even after seeing me with my hands and fingers covered in tattoos for the first time when I went back to visit them a few months ago).
This whole ordeal started when I got a text message out-of-the-blue from my stepmom that said this:
"I thought I would pass on to you my critique of tattoo art. It is one dimensional art done by mediocre art class dropouts whose work, if not embedded in skin, would eventually be sold at a garage sale for a dollar to some lady in pink shorts."
Needless to say, I was pretty frustrated / upset, and ignored the message entirely and sent no response.
A week later, I got this message from my dad:
"Just read what Kel sent to you on the "tattoo" ... Unless its a picture of Libby [their dog], I agree"
After becoming even more upset, and after stewing over these messages for about a week, I finally responded to my dad, and the following conversation took place...
Me: "I want you to know that I'm pretty unimpressed with the messages you and Kelly sent me last week."
Dad: "We didn't think that you would jump for joy. Just an exercise of concern on that line of expression and the view of 56 (28x2) years of experience... Didn't expect you to necessarily agree, but wanted you to know we are concerned about you... Its of course your choice, but we are allowed to voice concern... I think we are anyway, love does that kind of thing..."
Me: "That's fine, but I want you to know how I feel about your approach. First of all, I don't appreciate the unprovoked, passive aggressive attack in the slightest. Secondly, I don't expect you to like tattoos or understand them but I do expect you to have some respect for me. If you take offence to a decision I've made, or something I've done, or an entire industry for that matter, I expect you to be adult about it and have a discussion as opposed to making misinformed, uneducated and insulting jabs about a topic you clearly no nothing about. That being said, you're entitled to your opinion and I respect that. I don't expect you to like it, but I do expect you to be a little more tactful and treat me like an adult if you have an issue. I love you guys and it really hurt me to be treated that way."
Dad: "Sorry Mike, you know we had no intention in hurting you and respect is certainly not an issue as we respect you implicitly. Yes, we know that Tat's are a form of expression. We just want to make sure that as you add them that it is something you really want as we know so many people who a few years later are sorry they didn't think the choice through a little further..."
Me: "I appreciate your concern, and I take no issue with you guys feeling that way. Like I said, the issue I had was with the way you guys chose to say it. The nature of our relationship seems to be that we don't speak very often (which is too bad, but for whatever reason that's how it's gone) so I cherish the times where we do talk so much. It hurt me that your comments came so out of the blue and seemed to take the place of us being able to catch up as people because everyone was so caught up in outward appearances. What I'm trying to say is that I love and miss you guys, and I was upset all week about the way that that situation went down."
Firstly, I consider myself very lucky that he was so open to my point-of-view and was willing to discuss it, but I firmly believe that open and honest communication is the key to remedying these particular kinds of situations.
Either way, good luck @keepcalm!

This is a wonderful thread filled with great quotes and lots of things I can relate to.
This is great advice. It's easy for us tattoo-lovin' freaks to sit here and think, "Who wouldn't love my tattoo? It's beautiful!" But what helps me is to try to understand someone else's perspective. Personally, I find scarification hideous. (No offense to anyone here who might be into that.) If my daughter, who is now 5, grew up to get good tattoos, I'd be happy. But if she went out and got huge scars, I'd be heartbroken. Does that make me a hypocrite? You're damned right, it does. It's no different from tattoos in that it's a form of personal expression wherein the canvas is one's body. So if I think of it that way, I can relate to your parents.
Which brings me to another great quote from this thread:
Or to my own parents, who--believe it or not--don't know that I'm tattooed. Let's just say that we're not very close. So I hope you can find some solace in the fact that your parents seem very awesome in comparison to mine, who are very judgmental (and old and uber Catholic and lifelong residents of a small town).
In a thread filled with great quotes and stories, my favorite is from Deb:
I spent many years vying for my parents' approval. I have it in certain areas--I'm married to a great woman, am raising a good kid, and I am successful in my professional life--but I'll never have it in others. And I'm cool with that. Einstein (allegedly) defined insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." It took years, but I finally stopped expecting my parents to accept certain things. And I'm happier as a result.
Good luck to you.

I'm sure her general reaction towards your tattoos comes from a place of love and her not quite being open to "getting it". Parents sure can be funny sometimes and it's interesting how much their approval means to their seemingly smart adult children.
I use to be jealous of my friends who's parents yelled at them for coming home with Black Flag bars or whatever tattooed on them. I think it just means they give a shit. Getting tattoos on your body just probably doesn't follow the bogus script they've had in their head for what you'd be like as an adult. Doesn't mean they are not proud of all your other accomplishments. Maybe have the talk to end all talks about them, an open and honest conversation from both ends. Then the topics off the table. Don't let your parents opinions on something so simple as tattooed skin cause strain on your relationship with your mom.
My parents were never surprised by my getting tattoos. I came home when I was 14 with a kitchen scratcher tattoo by my friends older brother. Who, not all that surprisingly, was not a tattooer. I showed my mom it with pride right away. Her response was along the lines of, "well that wasn't the smartest way to go about getting a tattoo". That was it. A few days later she pointed out that poor people, especially women, already have enough things stacked against them, no point in making myself look like a criminal and killing my potential. (Thankfully I moved far away from kitchen tattoos well over a decade ago.)
My mom may not win any mother of the year awards, but she has a good heart and I know now that she meant well with her bleak commentary. She's just always been blunt and said it how she saw it, no matter how misguided it may be. Parents have their faults. She had known since I was 10-11 that I loved tattoos. I'd always check out all the tattoos on the bikers and scumbags that hung around. I sat in awe across the kitchen table from my mom when she got one (a terrible blue rose on her chest) when I was 8 or 9. I'd get paid to babysit with tattoo magazines. We moved regularly and always being on the go meant I had few belongings, but my mom would occasionally find a new tattoo or music magazine in a gas station somewhere that would keep me distracted.
I can go home with a new tattoo and my mom will usually ask to take a peak. I'd say the real shocker and bone of contention was just my decision to grow up independent and sober, build some financial stability, and earning myself a comfortable middle class life. I'd say that causes more waves and tension. But, you know, different strokes.
TL;DR: Just hug your mom. Tell her how you feel, have an open conversation, and actually listen to her response. She'll get over it, they always do. Then hug her again.

I only recently figured out that waiting for my mom's approval or appreciation of my tattoos is fruitless. I've been waiting for over thirty years & it's not ever going to happen.
My mother hates my tattoos, she thinks tattoos are ugly and thinks that they look dirty!!! I realize that when she sees any tattoo- it's as if a veil comes down and she doesn't see content. All tattoos are the same to her.
Well you know what was very freeing??? It was my realization that my expecting my mom to accept my tattoos is as unreasonable as her expectation that I would not like them or want to get them. It's her opinion and she is entitled to it.
I also have an otherwise close relationship with my mom. Another thing that has changed is that at one time in my life I would dress to cover my tattoos while visiting my mom- now I do not.
- - - Updated - - -
Keep in mind that up until only recently - the last 10 years or so- tattoos for the most part were only popular with certain subcultures of the population- especially getting heavily tattooed. Bikers, people in jail, the military and sideshow freaks. No others !

My mom used to be the same. The worst moment for me was after I had mostly completed my sleeve. I had my arm up behind my head watching TV, and looked over, catching my mom staring at my arm with a disgusted look. I asked "what?" probably too defensively, and she told me I had ruined my arm. Things were a bit tense for a while.
For us, the answer was for me to explain how hurtful those kind of reactions were (and I totally got the "it hurts me when you get more tattoos" response) and try to show how important they were to me. I think my mom genuinely saw them as a phase that I would grow out of and regret. Once she realized that wasn't the case, and I continue to get more coverage, she's accepted it and usually comments positively when she sees my new tattoos.
I guess I recommend trying to sit her down, and convey how much both tattoos mean to you and how hurtful her actions are.

If I were in your shoes, I would try to truly understand why your mom hates them so much. She hates them just because they are trashy? It must be more than that for her to act so serious about it. I'd sit my mom down with a bottle of alcohol, and I would force a clean answer out of her (my mom prefers avoidance of issues).
And you have to ask the right questions too. This might seem silly but root cause analysis is a valuable life tool, use the "5 Whys". "Why don't you like tattoos?", "In your mind, what makes them trashy?" I'm not going to role play this whole thing out, but I hope you get the idea. Then explain your side, why you like tattoos, how tattooing in this day and age is very different than tattooing in hers, etc. In my own experience, I see a lot of it come from pressure from our parents own peers. If your mom's friends hate tattoos, then that makes her look horrible as a mother that she raised some miscreant that likes tattoos that would embarrass her in front of her friends. You have to see it from her side. If you were on her side of the fence, what would it take to change your mind?
I can tell you, sure as shit, if I were to go to the beach with my mom, she would immediately be fearful of what the people around us would think about my tattoos. She can't help it, she is a mother. She wants all her kids to be seen in a respectful light, and that is her opinion of what respectful means. My older brother rocks a mohawk. It looks good. My mom hates it and it embarrasses the hell out of her because her friends see her son with a mohawk and she feels ashamed.

I can relate, I feel ya
My parents reaction to my first tattoo was OMG why why why...it's so big...why did you do that to your body...
Then I got some bigger hidden pieces. I never disclosed because they clearly were not interested in acknowledging the big pink (well, purple, blue, battleship grey, etc) elephant in the room
Then I got both arms done. And some legs.
I wore long sleeves and pants to family dinners for years after the fact...then eventually my parents said, look, we don't really like or understand tattoos but we know they are obviously important to you. And we don't want you to feel uncomfortable when you come visit the family, you are loved and accepted. So please know you can wear a short sleeve shirt and shorts when it is summertime and be comfortable with us. You are our son and we love you, regardless.
What I'm trying to say...your parents love you. And hopefully they come around. Change in perception can take time.
And mom and dad did come around...after 10 years. I came home from a trip with a screaming eagle on my neck. They weren't that shocked which actually was super-weird! But then we finally had a conversation where they gave me an opportunity to open up briefly...about why and what tattoos give to my life, what it means in my heart, the confidence in my body Why your neck?! Well, easy mom n dad! because there is no space anywhere else!
But until they do...remember your tattoos they are about YOU and they are to worn with your CONFIDENCE. Own it! So don't waste your energy trying to convince your parents, family, whichever people that aren't genuinely interested. That's their friggin' problem, not yours.
Good luck :)
about your Mom...Moms don't like seeing their kids in pain, which is all my mom could see in my tattoos. Pain. Until I talked to her. Open from the heart. Then my mom saw them as colourful and beautiful. The pictures on our skin are a reflection of what's inside us and where we have been. So talk to your Mom openly. Tell her all the positive things the tattoos have given you. And in time, let's hope your mom/family can drop the negativity and have an open-mind, to accept you and accept the things that are important to you.
In the meantime, remember - your tattooed skin is thick and colourful now. don't let the negative vibes stick to you.
Tattoos are temporary...and so is life :)

@cibo This is was my father's, which he gave to me.

Thanks for sharing that, dude. I didn't want to sleep tonight anyways.