keepcalm

Simon Erl would be who I would go to if I was in England.

What about jondix deffinatly covers black and grey patterns

Looking for suggestions for excellent tattooers in the UK -- I know there are many (I've seen many mentions here), but I've never looked into it myself and sadly didn't have the foresight to keep a running list.
Black & gray, patterns, and lines. He said he wants something "kinda tribal," but my plan is to present him with a bunch of other awesome work/artists that will hopefully be up his alley but also be a bit more unique than tribal.
He's down in Devon/Cornwall but travels often and will happily travel for this. The UK is tiny, after all! (said the American)
P.S. Hope this post isn't bad form! I have done some research myself but always find it overwhelming when starting from scratch. Plus - I trust you guys!

I would agree with Into You. Specifically Tomas Tomas, by the sounds of it.
Also Maxime at Sang Bleu. Curly at Lionel's in Oxford.
Instagram -
tomastomas108
curlytattoo
mxmttt

Just go to Into You in London. I think they can cover that. Although there are sooooo many good shops.

Yeah! Can you call my mom and tell her this?! Haha!

...a TED speaker asks:
Juan Enriquez: Your online life, permanent as a tattoo | Talk Video | TED.com
I thought it was an intriguing talk only because often, the negative reactions to tattoos have to do with them being "forever," and "what if you change your mind?", etc. It made me think about the young people I've known who've passed away -- their Twitter feeds, their Facebook profiles -- their online selves are frozen in time. The girl who passed away 12 years ago, would she still like those same TV shows she talks about on Twitter, or be comfortable showing those Facebook profile pictures? In the grand scheme, it doesn't f^cking matter -- those things show who she was at that time, and I don't think there's anything shameful or regrettable or embarrassing about that.
We're all humans, and we all grow and change our minds and adopt new attitudes. Everything we leave behind -- tattoos, Facebook pages, message board posts, blogs, pictures -- is just a big, fat smearing of evidence of how we've personally tripped through life. Like the slime trail a slug leaves behind.
Yes, you can quote me on that last one. I know it's elegant as f^ck. ::sips tea, pinky out::

This has been a great thread - I realize I need to be more appreciative of how my folks and family have reacted to my ink! When I first started getting tattooed (almost 20 years ago now) my Mom hated them. We had to have the "why are you doing this to me" and "I don't see why you want to deface your body" conversations where I had to explain that none of my tattoos were about HER and that I didn't see it as defacement.
Over the years, and many more tattoos (big hiatus in the middle where I got an eyebrow piercing instead, ha!) she now understands that this is a form of my own self expression and it's not a reflection of her. I've proven that I make good decisions on placement, style and content and that they don't hurt my life opportunities. My Dad is slowly coming around, but he will never like them. My brother and sister in law show them to my nephews (4 and 2 now) and we play "what is this? yes, bird! what sound does the bird make?" with the younger one. My other nephews show me their press on Spidermans when we Skype.
None of my family would ever get one. And some don't 'understand' them. Which is fine. They don't have to. But nobody should make you feel BAD about them. Or ashamed. And look at all these stories of parents who came around to some understanding in the end. I think there is something burned into our psyches (especially us girls) that want our Moms to be proud. And those of us with tattoos know that our tattoos are part of us and it feels like a rejection of ALL of who we are when someone is just nasty. Never forget you are more than your skin.
Good luck. :)
(that got a little rambley! sorry)

Yeah! Can you call my mom and tell her this?! Haha!

My parents don't really care for mine. Mine keep getting bigger, and their eyebrows keep raising higher. The last time I went to get my 1/2 sleeve worked on, my mom came w/me to drive me home, so she watched. I figured she'd read the whole time, but she spent quite a bit of time watching and asking the artist questions. That went quite a ways toward a bit more acceptance. She was quite animated when telling Dad about it...so it could be that he goes at some point to watch too. He sends me emails now and again about making sure things are sterile, and I just roll my eyes and delete, knowing he's doing it out of love and concern. I think mom was expecting like..a filthy dirty back alley syringes tossed onto the floor hookers in the next room kinda place-and when we walked in she pretty much stopped short and said "Woah" Heavily tattooed men, some pierced, some w/big gauges--super polite, very professional. That goes a long way.
I'm not sure what the answer is. Let your character speak for itself. If mom thinks tattoos are trashy, your actions will belie that thought, eventually, in her mind.

@iowagirl, I have a similar story. When my mom accidentally saw me getting tattooed, it went a long way towards helping her accept, if not necessarily approve of it - I was never in danger of falling out with my family, but at various points she'd called it "creepy" and "aggressive." (I like "aggressive" actually - we've mentioned the attitude that women's bodies are for public consumption as being linked to some of the particular bullshit tattooed women get, so in this context taking your body back by marking it is an act of aggression. For parents maybe it's a different kind of aggression - like you're further distancing yourself, after all the normal ties that get severed in your 20s, by permanently changing something they made.) It eased some of her worries about pain and sterility.
@keepcalm, I like the idea of writing a letter to your mom and seeing if she'd be willing to explain what exactly bothers her about the tattoos. Can you involve your dad in this discussion without making him feel he's being used as backup? Maybe a harm-reduction approach is best - focusing on changing her reactions instead of her attitudes, like getting her to at least stop the silent treatments. Silent treatments suck.

I asked my son to keep it within the confines of a button down shirt until he knows more about the direction his life will take. He knows he's going to have an interesting holiday with his dad's side of the family. His dad and aunts are tattooed, but his Grandma will be disappointed. My mom asked to see it.
He has a video game tattoo. I would not have it, but it is well done and important to him. He put it on the back of his upper arm, and he'll be able to expand it fairly easily, and highlight things that will be more important to him later in life on his shoulder.
I just can't understand being so upset with your child over something so - unimportant. If a tattoo is 'the worst thing you've done' then you are a pretty good kid :)

I feel like this is an "US" problem. We KNOW we like our tattoos. We got them on purpose. PAID for someone to do it to us, in fact. So why let disapproval from flyover states or other-minded parents get to us so strongly?!
While I was dealing with the horrible "i'm so trashy and disgusting" feeling, I also recognized that I didn't feel like that all of the time, and knew that I wouldn't likely feel like that in a few days...so even though it sucked, that is what I held on to - the impermanence of the situation. You know how you feel, and you know that it isn't all the time. Remember that!
Best of luck! It sucks. But you're an adult and you like your tattoos - that is ALL THAT MATTERS!!!!

@keepcalm you have some great responses here! I have had a similar experience with my mom. She hates tattoos and has made snide comments for years... but recently I feel like we have finally made progress. Basically, I would just argue with her about it a little each time she would make a comment, and then drop it and go about my business of getting tattooed as much as I liked.
Then, this last time I saw her (over the summer) she was upset about a comment I made about her being mean to me over my tattoos. She said she has never been MEAN to me, but was just stating her opinion. I told her, "I already know your opinion so constantly restating it is kind of, well, mean! The tattoos are here to stay so get used to it!" Since then she has stopped with anything negative or any mention of them.
For a long while there she wouldn't "like" any pics of me on facebook if my tattoos showed (whereas she "liked" all my pics where they don't show). Quite recently she liked AND commented, "I love this" on a picture that clearly showed my whole right sleeve. PROGRESS! I wasn't expecting to crack through her shallow, cold, hatred of tattoos, but it's happening! Or at least it's not in my face any more. Yay.
Hang in there. You gotta be you.

Thanks, everyone, for your stories! It's good to hear about other people's journeys and how they have dealt with reactions from family.
Intellectually, I know this is true, but it's hard to remember when I'm getting an icy cold shoulder from my mom for days at a time.
Looking forward to the day when I can chime in that my parents may not like my tattoos, but at least they don't treat them as such a huge, offensive deal anymore.
Thanks again, guys - I feel a bit cheered up! :)

Gah, @keepcalm and all others, I certainly feel you in regards to parental disapproval! (although my mom did get a tattoo on her hip in an ill-advised attempt to bond and understand me and recently got it removed...and it was waiting for me in a tupperware container full of salt when I got home. She had a tummy tuck but asked the surgeon to save the skin for her. Creepy? Yes. Sweet? Yes. Fucking weird as hell? Don't even get me started)(ah, family). (y'all want pics?) (also this is my least fav tattoo, i am soooo glad to get it covered now! never would have done it unless she had agreed to also do the same tho)
My parents have never liked tattoos. My dad didn't speak to me for months after he found out about the (little teeny tiny) flower on my back, and my mom just looked at me with sad, disappointed eyes. I really wanted more tattoos, and when I decided to go for a highly visible tattoo on my forearm at 23, I knew I was doing something that might cause my parents to literally never speak to me again. It was fucking tough!!! And then all the guilt for why I would do something that I knew would basically divorce me from my parents, what a bad kid, blah blah blah. Lots of guilt. But I still loved my tattoos.
At some point before I got that first, highly visible tattoo, I showed my mom a picture of some cherry blossoms that stretched across a woman's entire body. I thought they were beautiful and I was sure my mom would feel the same way, even though they were tattoos --- NOPE!! And it was at that point that I realized that just because my mom didn't like something didn't mean it was not cool/right/good-looking/whatever - and that I could like something independent of her and that my opinion is still a valid one.
As I collected more tattoos over the years, my parents began speaking more about what i would do at work, and what was I supposed to do at black tie events? At the time I was on the film festival circuit and attending opening galas pretty regularly, so it wasn't an out of nowhere question...but nowhere did I feel comfortable saying "I LIKE the way my tattoos look in dresses!". In fact I just felt humiliated and ashamed. Again, this feeling of guilt - how could I be so shortsighted and do this to myself? Do I not care about my future? Why would I have wasted all this education and this good job etc etc etc ad nauseam - it's really hard to get your parents' disapproving voices out of your head, even when you think they've been banished!
Anyway - guess what - they can be covered up if you really want them to be. I attended a black tie event two weeks ago with my What Tattoos? look in full force. Long sleeves. Long gown or pants. NOT HARD TO DO.
I did attend a few events this summer with tattoos out in full force. Surprisingly difficult for me to do because of those nasty voices in my head, but I got over it. (I'm 31 now) I personally gauge the event, the hosts, where I am (seattle is fine to show tattoos, oklahoma is decidedly UNWELCOMING). I make a point of looking spectacular to the normies so that not only are they embarrassed if they've trash talked tattooed people to me (more common than one might think) and later see my tattoos, but that maybe it gives 'em something to think about.
In Oklahoma, when I am home visiting family, I keep mostly covered up. This keeps me from dealing with the huffs and puffs, stupid thick tension, and any assaults on my character or future. I used to feel very comfortable with this, because I'm not rebelling or trying to piss my parents off with tattoos (though they have certainly leveled those accusations before), so why poke the bear if it's not necessary? But now I feel kinda bummed that I can't be myself around them. Or like walk downstairs in a tank top. And I was just in OK for thanksgiving and I felt totally trashy and hated myself for getting tattoos. ?!?!! I LOVE TATTOOS so that was a weird feeling for me - I was just basically sucking up the disapproval in the air, I think! bc i adore my tattoos.
I was just home recently and my mom had to use a fabric glue to stick the collar of my dress in a certain place - not to cover a tattoo, but so that the dress would fall right - and she moved the collar and saw some tattoo and made the worst noise...it made me feel bad, but whatever. It's okay if we all like different things! My mom gets hella plastic surgery, I'm not into that kind of body mod, so that's what I relate the tattoo thing to at the moment.
I stopped expecting my parents to treat me nicely many years ago, @keepcalm. Eventually I ported it all into a "them" problem and have minimized my contact with them. I keep my tattoos covered up, though they are aware of them, and I choose to interact with them about different topics, and I refuse to be baited into an argument regarding tattoos. I guess what I'm trying to say is what many have said before me in this thread - wishing/hoping/waiting for parental approval that's never gonna happen is a dumb game that will make you feel bad. It's okay if they don't like tattoos - they don't have to - but they don't have to be jerks about it. If they are gonna be jerks about it, minimize your exposure and choose only to interact with them in neutral territory. If you're comfortable with it, cover up and just show your tattoos off to your friends who think they're cool as hell!

Thanks, everyone, for your stories! It's good to hear about other people's journeys and how they have dealt with reactions from family.
Intellectually, I know this is true, but it's hard to remember when I'm getting an icy cold shoulder from my mom for days at a time.
Looking forward to the day when I can chime in that my parents may not like my tattoos, but at least they don't treat them as such a huge, offensive deal anymore.
Thanks again, guys - I feel a bit cheered up! :)

Hey all, I'm pretty sure this topic has been discussed to death around here, but I'm hoping this thread can maybe focus on some helpful, active solutions for a problem I just can't seem to get over. I'm sure other people have encountered this, too. (P.S. -- there's a "too long; didn't read" summary at the end!)
I'm 29 and have been living a life independent of my parents since I graduated college 7 years ago (read: I'm my own person; I do what I want.), but I can't shake the insecurity I feel because of my family's perceptions of my tattoos, and tattoos in general.
My mom ABHORS my tattoos (she gives me the silent treatment for a few days each time she finds out about a new one, when I am visiting them), and I swear it seems to physically affect her. She has said as much: "It makes me sick." In these moments, it feels like she hates me, and I have to endure a few days of THICK tension on what should be a nice and enjoyable visit with my folks. I doubt my dad is thrilled about them, but he acts like a normal person, treats me the same, and has even expressed a tiny bit of interest in a few ("Oh, that is a cool design.").
I am close with my extended family, and though I'm not the only one of us to have tattoos (some of my cousins have a few, too), the general consensus among my aunts, uncles, and grandparents is that tattoos are kind of trashy, and we're all just kinda going to pretend like the ones my cousins and I have don't exist.
Because of all of this, I feel uncomfortable showing my tattoos around my family, and this has leaked over into my decisions on what tattoos to get and where to put them. But I'm tired of it! I want to get what I want to get, and put it wherever I want it, and not feel guilty or ashamed of it!
I'm especially upset by my mom's reactions. We have a perfectly acceptable mother-daughter relationship -- except when the topic of tattoos comes up. I am tired of my personal decisions affecting my relationships with family, but maybe that's something I just have to accept if I want to continue getting tattooed?
TL;DR: What can I do to "get over" this insecurity? Should I talk to my family? Tell them how I feel? What could I say that would help them understand why I get tattoos? Would it make a difference?

I had a similar in-person conversation as @rozone did with my parents.
I forewarned them that I had gotten a tattoo, and showed them the next time we got together. It was only a matter of time anyway as we spend a lot of time together in the summer. My mother is more open-minded than my father, and said "wow, it is so big! I am so glad that you can cover that up at work". My father said he appreciated the craft and quality of it and joked that I could always get it removed if I decided I didn't like it in a few years. He too talked about how he knows people who regretted their tattoo choices, and was concerned that "you'll want another new one when that one gets old". I have a family member that has some, er, not so awesome tattoos and my parents have been saying "please don't turn out like so and so", thus I've been able to use that as an opportunity to talk about good tattoos, how to make tattoo choices, and that it isn't a "light" decision for me. It's been slow going but I appreciate them trying and not freaking out the way I expected them to. My sister responded admirably by saying that she was surprised it took me so long.
My mother-in-law has no idea about my tattoos, and I plan on keeping it that way because I know it would not go well.
@keepcalm - I recommend a letter in a situation such as this. I've utilized that method in the past with a very difficult situation and it was just was we all needed.

This may or may not prove useful / interesting, and it may or may not be too much information to share on the Internet, but below is an exact word-for-word copy and pasted conversation I had with my dad a few years ago about my tattoos. Needless to say, this is the last time tattoos have ever been an issue between us, and I'm happy to say that both my dad and stepmom are cool as hell about my tattoos now (even after seeing me with my hands and fingers covered in tattoos for the first time when I went back to visit them a few months ago).
This whole ordeal started when I got a text message out-of-the-blue from my stepmom that said this:
"I thought I would pass on to you my critique of tattoo art. It is one dimensional art done by mediocre art class dropouts whose work, if not embedded in skin, would eventually be sold at a garage sale for a dollar to some lady in pink shorts."
Needless to say, I was pretty frustrated / upset, and ignored the message entirely and sent no response.
A week later, I got this message from my dad:
"Just read what Kel sent to you on the "tattoo" ... Unless its a picture of Libby [their dog], I agree"
After becoming even more upset, and after stewing over these messages for about a week, I finally responded to my dad, and the following conversation took place...
Me: "I want you to know that I'm pretty unimpressed with the messages you and Kelly sent me last week."
Dad: "We didn't think that you would jump for joy. Just an exercise of concern on that line of expression and the view of 56 (28x2) years of experience... Didn't expect you to necessarily agree, but wanted you to know we are concerned about you... Its of course your choice, but we are allowed to voice concern... I think we are anyway, love does that kind of thing..."
Me: "That's fine, but I want you to know how I feel about your approach. First of all, I don't appreciate the unprovoked, passive aggressive attack in the slightest. Secondly, I don't expect you to like tattoos or understand them but I do expect you to have some respect for me. If you take offence to a decision I've made, or something I've done, or an entire industry for that matter, I expect you to be adult about it and have a discussion as opposed to making misinformed, uneducated and insulting jabs about a topic you clearly no nothing about. That being said, you're entitled to your opinion and I respect that. I don't expect you to like it, but I do expect you to be a little more tactful and treat me like an adult if you have an issue. I love you guys and it really hurt me to be treated that way."
Dad: "Sorry Mike, you know we had no intention in hurting you and respect is certainly not an issue as we respect you implicitly. Yes, we know that Tat's are a form of expression. We just want to make sure that as you add them that it is something you really want as we know so many people who a few years later are sorry they didn't think the choice through a little further..."
Me: "I appreciate your concern, and I take no issue with you guys feeling that way. Like I said, the issue I had was with the way you guys chose to say it. The nature of our relationship seems to be that we don't speak very often (which is too bad, but for whatever reason that's how it's gone) so I cherish the times where we do talk so much. It hurt me that your comments came so out of the blue and seemed to take the place of us being able to catch up as people because everyone was so caught up in outward appearances. What I'm trying to say is that I love and miss you guys, and I was upset all week about the way that that situation went down."
Firstly, I consider myself very lucky that he was so open to my point-of-view and was willing to discuss it, but I firmly believe that open and honest communication is the key to remedying these particular kinds of situations.
Either way, good luck @keepcalm!

For me, part of getting increasingly heavily tattooed is understanding and accepting that not everybody likes tattoos. It's tough when that negativity comes from your own family, but that's all part of what you take on by getting tattooed.
For my part, my family has been more or less fine with it. I know my dad doesn't like my tattoos but we don't have a super close relationship so we've never talked about it. My mom always wants me to say that my latest tattoo is my last one, though I don't really see how it even matters at this point. She's coming more and more to accept that getting tattooed is just something that I do, but there are tough moments for sure. My parents were staying with us but were away visiting NYC during the Montreal convention a couple of years ago and they got back to the apartment just at the moment I got out of the shower the day after having my shin destroyed by Chad. My leg was super beat up and swollen and my mom saw it and immediately burst into tears about it. I guess a large part of that had to do with what @bongsau said earlier in this thread about our parents not wanting to see us in pain. At the same time, though this has never been said to my face, I know that some of my extended family has been pretty hostile about my tattoos. One of my uncles, a retired former career air force officer, a really straight-laced type, asked my mom flat-out why I look like a "goddamned biker" and have so many tattoos. I couldn't have asked for a better response from my mom. She told this uncle that I have so many tattoos because I like them. So yeah, she doesn't like that I have tattoos, and she has asked me what she did wrong as a mother to make me do something like this to myself, but when it comes down to it, she doesn't think I'm a bad person for it and has stuck up for me. And that's great with me.
My in-laws don't know that either me or @Pugilist have tattoos at all. We see them in general a couple of times a month. It's all long-sleeved shirts and pants around them even during the hottest part of the summer, or hiding if they stop by unexpectedly. We say that they need to find out eventually, but if they do find out it's going to be a huge fight so it's best to just keep them covered. I think even when they do find out we're both tattooed, we'll still both keep them covered around them out of respect.

this has been a very cool thread - lots of great support from the folks here for keepcalm and just in general
we've all experienced some push back from people we care about in regards to getting tattoos
this thread was a reminder to me just how polarizing the whole thing is
especially once you start getting more than a couple on you
many people just dont and wont understand it
and thats ok by me
because i'm not sure i can explain it for them anyway
my parents and in-laws sorta pretend they dont exist
and comments from extended fam and friends have ranged from
'you know you are starting to look like white trash' to
'those wont come off will they' - (RIP grandma)
anyway - keep calm and tattoo on!

It's hard when someone you love is so negative about something important to you. IMO you don't owe anyone an explanation about what you do with your own body, but I can understand making an exception for family.
I like the idea of having your mom confront her reasons for reacting so strongly and explaining what tattoos represent to her, beyond just being "trashy". Is she worried her daughter has turned into a kind of person she doesn't like? Does she believe you are disrespecting her by getting tattoos, or is she hurt that you're disregarding her feelings/values/opinions? Once you know the root of the problem, you can address her worries and gently explain that her reacting that way does nothing but cause you both pain, since the tattoos are here to stay and there will only be more in the future.
Even so, she might just need time to come around. My dad eventually did... kind of... he's never going to love my tattoos but he sees past them now. I hope it gets easier for you!

This is a wonderful thread filled with great quotes and lots of things I can relate to.
This is great advice. It's easy for us tattoo-lovin' freaks to sit here and think, "Who wouldn't love my tattoo? It's beautiful!" But what helps me is to try to understand someone else's perspective. Personally, I find scarification hideous. (No offense to anyone here who might be into that.) If my daughter, who is now 5, grew up to get good tattoos, I'd be happy. But if she went out and got huge scars, I'd be heartbroken. Does that make me a hypocrite? You're damned right, it does. It's no different from tattoos in that it's a form of personal expression wherein the canvas is one's body. So if I think of it that way, I can relate to your parents.
Which brings me to another great quote from this thread:
Or to my own parents, who--believe it or not--don't know that I'm tattooed. Let's just say that we're not very close. So I hope you can find some solace in the fact that your parents seem very awesome in comparison to mine, who are very judgmental (and old and uber Catholic and lifelong residents of a small town).
In a thread filled with great quotes and stories, my favorite is from Deb:
I spent many years vying for my parents' approval. I have it in certain areas--I'm married to a great woman, am raising a good kid, and I am successful in my professional life--but I'll never have it in others. And I'm cool with that. Einstein (allegedly) defined insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." It took years, but I finally stopped expecting my parents to accept certain things. And I'm happier as a result.
Good luck to you.

Hey all, I'm pretty sure this topic has been discussed to death around here, but I'm hoping this thread can maybe focus on some helpful, active solutions for a problem I just can't seem to get over. I'm sure other people have encountered this, too. (P.S. -- there's a "too long; didn't read" summary at the end!)
I'm 29 and have been living a life independent of my parents since I graduated college 7 years ago (read: I'm my own person; I do what I want.), but I can't shake the insecurity I feel because of my family's perceptions of my tattoos, and tattoos in general.
My mom ABHORS my tattoos (she gives me the silent treatment for a few days each time she finds out about a new one, when I am visiting them), and I swear it seems to physically affect her. She has said as much: "It makes me sick." In these moments, it feels like she hates me, and I have to endure a few days of THICK tension on what should be a nice and enjoyable visit with my folks. I doubt my dad is thrilled about them, but he acts like a normal person, treats me the same, and has even expressed a tiny bit of interest in a few ("Oh, that is a cool design.").
I am close with my extended family, and though I'm not the only one of us to have tattoos (some of my cousins have a few, too), the general consensus among my aunts, uncles, and grandparents is that tattoos are kind of trashy, and we're all just kinda going to pretend like the ones my cousins and I have don't exist.
Because of all of this, I feel uncomfortable showing my tattoos around my family, and this has leaked over into my decisions on what tattoos to get and where to put them. But I'm tired of it! I want to get what I want to get, and put it wherever I want it, and not feel guilty or ashamed of it!
I'm especially upset by my mom's reactions. We have a perfectly acceptable mother-daughter relationship -- except when the topic of tattoos comes up. I am tired of my personal decisions affecting my relationships with family, but maybe that's something I just have to accept if I want to continue getting tattooed?
TL;DR: What can I do to "get over" this insecurity? Should I talk to my family? Tell them how I feel? What could I say that would help them understand why I get tattoos? Would it make a difference?