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Gia Dobson

Post Secret

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Im sure many people know about Post Secret but if not... Post Secret began as a community art project by Frank Warren whereby he asked strangers to write down a secret about themselves that they've never told anyone on a postcard and mail it to him. He displayed them at a show and then it morphed from there into a website and several books. The blog is now the largest ad-free blog on the web. The project has done more for suicide prevention and awareness than any other group in a long time. I went to one of their events last year and was very moved by Frank and his journey with this project that has turned into a global movement. Not all the secrets are dreary. Many are triumphant, funny, and uplifting as well. In the end they show people that they are not alone, no matter what they've been through and I think that is super cool.

I try and remember to check out the new secrets posted on the blog each Sunday... this week had one that was tattoo related so I thought I'd mention it here...

http://www.PostSecret.com

I'll attach the postcard I mentioned as they change each week.

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this is sort of getting off topic of post secret, but in a way, i suppose it's not.

this is also going to be an extremely personal forum post (might should actually be a blog post), but here goes.

post secret is an extremely, EXTREMELY important project dealing with the human condition and suicide prevention.

most of you don't know me in real life on here, and most who do know me, don't know this about me, but i have struggled with anxiety, depression, and ultimately suicidal thoughts since i was a kid. at 8, i first began to understand the concept of committing suicide, and by the age of 10, i had already attempted it. sob story, whatever.

point being that up until college, i was extremely embarrassed and confused about why i had these thoughts, and why i couldn't really control them. i felt lost and alone. everyone else seemed happy, why couldn't i? i dreamed of just being content with myself, just once, and to be able to live with the thought on a daily basis that i was ok. that as i am, i am enough to be ok with. i didn't think it would ever happen.

then in '05, two things happened. i got my first tattoo, and i discovered post secret. i started to feel like my body was an investment, and that as shitty as it was that i kept having these thoughts, that my mind was part of my body, and that i could at least choose what i do with those thoughts. getting tattooed was, and still is, the biggest relief in a physically positive way for myself. it was a release, a way to alter myself, but also change myself in the way i wanted to change, to see myself change. post secret, on the other hand, allowed me to realize that i wasn't alone in my thoughts. that A LOT of other people were the same as me. and so, while i was changing on the outside, and beginning to not appear to be "normal", on the inside, post secret allowed me to realize that i was "normal" on the inside. that there are a lot of other people out there who are scared to talk about these thoughts and feelings, but that doesn't mean that they don't have them, and that they don't feel the same way. we just go about our daily lives in a way where these conversations never come up, and really, they need to.

fast forward to february of 2009, and a good friend of mine, actually more like an older brother for most of my time through college, followed through with those thoughts. it was the first time someone i knew, someone i knew but didn't know was having the same thoughts as me, had actually died. that stopped me dead in my tracks, and it made me realize two things: 1) i will no longer keep silent on this topic, and 2)that i needed to invest in my mind just as i had in my body. i began seeking out different approaches to dealing with my mind, and finally, this last summer, found the right one. i can gladly say, that even with all the trials and tribulations that have occurred during the last year (my parents getting divorced, work being stressful as hell, etc., etc.), this last year has been the happiest year of my life. i guess if anything good could come out of a tragedy such as Marques' death, at least it made those around him more aware of their own lives, and just how (to sound cliche) really precious every living moment is. not openly talking about suicide and suicide prevention, due to the social stigmas attached to it, is actually cheating people out of their lives, and i refuse to do it.

to bring it back to tattoos, if anyone on here ever sees me without shoes on or wearing flats (both are rarities), you'll see that i have two roses that are unfinished, with the words "never forget" on my feet. that tattoo started out as a pun on words ("don't forget your roots"), but the day i received the phone call about Que's passing, i was supposed to get them filled in. now they've become a reminder to never forget Ques and i'm not sure if i'll ever get them finished.

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this is sort of getting off topic of post secret, but in a way, i suppose it's not.

this is also going to be an extremely personal forum post (might should actually be a blog post), but here goes.

post secret is an extremely, EXTREMELY important project dealing with the human condition and suicide prevention.

most of you don't know me in real life on here, and most who do know me, don't know this about me, but i have struggled with anxiety, depression, and ultimately suicidal thoughts since i was a kid. at 8, i first began to understand the concept of committing suicide, and by the age of 10, i had already attempted it. sob story, whatever.

point being that up until college, i was extremely embarrassed and confused about why i had these thoughts, and why i couldn't really control them. i felt lost and alone. everyone else seemed happy, why couldn't i? i dreamed of just being content with myself, just once, and to be able to live with the thought on a daily basis that i was ok. that as i am, i am enough to be ok with. i didn't think it would ever happen.

then in '05, two things happened. i got my first tattoo, and i discovered post secret. i started to feel like my body was an investment, and that as shitty as it was that i kept having these thoughts, that my mind was part of my body, and that i could at least choose what i do with those thoughts. getting tattooed was, and still is, the biggest relief in a physically positive way for myself. it was a release, a way to alter myself, but also change myself in the way i wanted to change, to see myself change. post secret, on the other hand, allowed me to realize that i wasn't alone in my thoughts. that A LOT of other people were the same as me. and so, while i was changing on the outside, and beginning to not appear to be "normal", on the inside, post secret allowed me to realize that i was "normal" on the inside. that there are a lot of other people out there who are scared to talk about these thoughts and feelings, but that doesn't mean that they don't have them, and that they don't feel the same way. we just go about our daily lives in a way where these conversations never come up, and really, they need to.

fast forward to february of 2009, and a good friend of mine, actually more like an older brother for most of my time through college, followed through with those thoughts. it was the first time someone i knew, someone i knew but didn't know was having the same thoughts as me, had actually died. that stopped me dead in my tracks, and it made me realize two things: 1) i will no longer keep silent on this topic, and 2)that i needed to invest in my mind just as i had in my body. i began seeking out different approaches to dealing with my mind, and finally, this last summer, found the right one. i can gladly say, that even with all the trials and tribulations that have occurred during the last year (my parents getting divorced, work being stressful as hell, etc., etc.), this last year has been the happiest year of my life. i guess if anything good could come out of a tragedy such as Marques' death, at least it made those around him more aware of their own lives, and just how (to sound cliche) really precious every living moment is. not openly talking about suicide and suicide prevention, due to the social stigmas attached to it, is actually cheating people out of their lives, and i refuse to do it.

to bring it back to tattoos, if anyone on here ever sees me without shoes on or wearing flats (both are rarities), you'll see that i have two roses that are unfinished, with the words "never forget" on my feet. that tattoo started out as a pun on words ("don't forget your roots"), but the day i received the phone call about Que's passing, i was supposed to get them filled in. now they've become a reminder to never forget Ques and i'm not sure if i'll ever get them finished.

I only discovered post secret about a year ago and i have to say that every time i get the chance to read one of the books( i dont own any) i find i feel really comforted, at peace and when i finally put the book down feeling kind of illuminated.

Robin thank you so much for writing that! i think you are so brave and couragous for sharing! it doesnt matter that you've written it on here in this place, you never know whose going to stumble upon it just when they need that pick me up. i wish i possesed the fulidity with which you and some other members on here have!

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