Zillah

Wow.

When I made the original thread, I had no idea that it would turn out to be a big debate; I was thinking that it would be therapeutic for myself and for anyone else that had experienced something like that, to share the anecdote, and encourage others to share theirs.

About speaking up- that would have been great, if I had felt safe to do so. I think that now that I am 12 years older, more mature, more confident, and more assertive, I would have -at the very least- told him afterwards that I didn't appreciate that bullshit thank you very much. The situation I was in though, as a young woman, alone in a tattoo shop with a guy named 'Graham' who worked at 'Graham's Tattoo Studio' (now long closed), I didn't feel okay. I felt afraid. So I didn't. Thank you to those that got that, and wrote eloquent responses.

It's all very well to say that I should be tougher, or stronger, or more assertive, or be able to fly, or whatever... but I was who I was, and I think that tattoos should be for everyone. I don't think there should be certain class of people who tattooing should be limited to, e.g. those who can 'take it like a man' or whatever, although I understand that attitude, because some women have had to fight long and hard to be treated as equals in a male-dominated field.

Silence never equals consent when there is a power imbalance. The person in the more powerful position is responsible to ensure that their behaviour is welcome. This guy could have made a number of jokes, even some lewd jokes, that were not about my body, which I may not have enjoyed but would not have been offended by.

The 'large cohesive upper arm tattoo' (@HaydenRose ;) ) that I am getting in a week or so is being done by a professional who I have met and had a lengthy consultation with, who works with others in an open studio, and comes highly recommended. I have a bit more tattoo nous now. But for those young ladies (and men) who go into a studio and point to something and say, "I want that one", or with less sense who get upside down tattoos, or pop culture references that will disappear in 5 minutes, or whatever, I want them to have an enjoyable, safe experience that they can think of fondly and get lasered off later.

...are you sure the comment was not taken out of context?

Seriously, the dude just came out with it.

The artist probably didn't think this was a big deal and worse yet has no idea this was so upsetting to you...because you didn't speak up.

Maybe. But I felt pretty damn intimidated, which doesn't help with the speaking up... and seriously? Shitty joke.

Reasons I love getting tattooed as a "bigger" person:

1) More space! Man, I can fit SO MANY MORE awesome big tattoos on my thighs than skinnier girls!

2) A reminder that I gain nothing by feeling as though I am "at odds with" my body; tattoos reconnect me to this imperfect skin I live in and close the mind/body gap a bit.

3) I often think about how some fat activist feminist critics comment that women, in particular, feel guilty for being fat because we "take up more space" in a society where women are expected to take up as little space as possible. I am constantly trying, in my life, to feel more at easy taking up space, being present, and not hiding - tattoos and their incredible presence obviously helps a lot with that.

4) Tattoos are like an awesome treat/adornment for my body - a reminder that it deserves to be treated kindly.

5) As others have said, tattoos have totally changed how I feel about parts of my body I am most insecure about; cellulite seems pretty insignificant when there's a huge colourful dragon over it.

6) Basically, we all deserve to feel like we have agency over our bodies. Tattoos remind me of this. Some extra fat is like, only a small part of what my body is - it's a whole lot more than that, both physically and aesthetically, and it's mine to do what I please with.

I love this- all of it. But especially 3 and 6.

@Zillah that is an awful experience! I'm really sorry you had to go through that. I've been lucky and have had mostly awesome experiences and nothing violating like that. So sorry.

Have you heard of Capilli Tupou? I really like his stuff and I think he's from NZ as well! Instagram

No I hadn't, but he is in the same city so I will look him up, thanks :)

Thanks people. I was worried that I might just be being uptight, but it did make me feel really bad.

When I was younger I had a small piece done on my back below my neck and the tattoo artist said to me, "I hope you don't mind but I'm staring down your shirt at your tits while I'm tattooing you". I felt so violated, and so disempowered, because I felt I couldn't say anything back- the guy was actively tattooing me, and I was scared that if I complained or gave him shit for it that he might make a 'mistake' or write 'bitch' on my back or something.

I should have laid a complaint afterwards, but I was young and naive. I also should have researched the guy first, but I didn't know much about doing that sort of thing back then.

Has anyone else had an uncomfortable/bad experience while being tattooed?

We are a Queer positive shop so we have no - NO - shortage of every kind of person from every fringe queer community and it's AMAZING. The other day, a guy said to me "This new album is SO gay." and I replied "YES THAT IS AWESOME!" It felt mututally nice that when someone called something gay the first reaction we all had wasn't like "Oh, really? It's stupid?" LOL

Anyway, as for the massage tables -- STAY AWAY from the ones that have the beams that pull out and you click them into the four corner legs. They're cheap cuz they're week. Try to find one that fold out as simply as possible with as little assembly as those are the ones that I've used for years and had no problem getting REAAAAL big boys and girls on top.

It's a nice thing, too, to be able to tell a client who is scared that they m ight d amage your table by virtue of their weight to, "do their worst." Or similar jokey-type-thing. Really breaks the ice and let's 'em feel like no one gives a shit if they've got a few extra pounds. We just wanna tatttoo em and not judge.

Thank you for this.

Yeah I have an upside down ankh "for me"

I came across a place that does pretty twee flash when I was looking for someone to do my upcoming koi piece.

Does the US or UK have creative commons licences? In New Zealand we have this thing where the artist chooses if and how they want their work shared/tweaked/used commercially or not:

Licences explained | Creative Commons Aotearoa New Zealand

Yes! I've just realized that tattoos are a perfect solution to the dreaded batwings!!!

I don't have batwings, I have full dragon flight going on :p

In New Zealand we don't tip. I think the artist would be uncomfortable and see it as some kind of bribe. Gifts would be fine though.

The place I'm going to next week has a maximum full day charge of NZ$800 (US$683).

It's undeniable men have faced discrimination, but in my experience, people are more comfortable being nasty to women. These are mostly the type of people too cowardly to confront someone who might fight back, and in a culture where girls are raised to be sweet and demure, we're not expected to say anything in these sorts of situations. ;)

Being a fat woman, people are rude to me about my body anyway. Might as well get all the great tattoos I want, fuck 'em!

Thanks Stacey! Where in NZ you from?

Dorkland (Auckland)

No advice from me, just saying hi from down under down under :p

^ school basically told him it was his fault (shoulda chosen a different bag) people were picking on him from my understanding. Pretty weak on their part.

What the fuck is wrong with people, seriously

I've been pierced , but its a pain in the arse , so Im not pierced anymore :)

I hear you.

@Zillah

LOL nice

I have a snake/ankh combo and people so far have always associated with evil, which is far from what it means, at least to me

but it's art so to each his own, it's up to their interpretation. I like to hear what they think it means before telling them

Apparently an inverted ankh is a symbol of Nyarlahotep from the Cthulhu mythos.

I haven't been tattooed for 12 years due to not being in paid work until recently (studying, parenting) and the studios I have been to previously have closed. Looking forward to building a relationship with one artist starting with my upcoming half-sleeve in early April.

I think there is a boy called Grayson being bullied about his MLP backpack at the mo?

Thanks for the welcomes!

That's awesome! Who's got the pleasure of doing it?

Nick Agnew of Kingsland Ink: https://www.facebook.com/nick.agnew.94/photos

Bigger people can get more cool tattoos. If your pale then thats just icing on the cake.

How about pale and freckly? :p

Today at my appointment I asked the artists if they had reservations tattooing larger folks, as I had read on another tattoo forum that some artists have a problem with it. They seemed genuinely surprised that it was even a thing. I mentioned I'd heard about the difficulty getting a good stretch thing and they were like "no... we're professionals, it's fine..."

Hey Stacey. Great intro.

I'm from Brisbane, Australia. I too work Health Care, but as an industry trainer which includes restraint & seclusion in Acute Mental Health Units for 4 large Metro Hospitals here.

Hope ya staying safe!

Mick.

I was scheduled to have Restraint and seclusion training next month but it conflicted with my graduation. They are trying really hard to not only minimise but to eliminate using seclusion all together in our DHB, it's a sticky issue. Lots of nurses are scared they will get hurt if they throw seclusion out... but then again lots of nurses use seclusion inappropriately because they are afraid.