keepcalm

You have all probably seen this all ready but here is the session on my back piece from a week ago when I was visiting Rudy Fritsch at his shop Original Classic in Trieste, Italy. Had a super good stay in the city and the shop is truly amazing, I could be there for hours just looking at all of the originals on the walls from some of the best in the culture and also from Rudy himself. We had lunch the day after the session and he sure is a very interesting and inspiring person too.

Beyond happy with how this is progressing! Next session with Iain Mullen, who is the other part of this collaboration, will be in Stockholm quite soon and then the three of us converge during the Scottish Tattoo Convention in Edinburgh early next year to put the finishing touches on this project. I am a lucky guy :)

Be confident, embrace who you are and show love no matter how anyone treats you.

I'm sure her general reaction towards your tattoos comes from a place of love and her not quite being open to "getting it". Parents sure can be funny sometimes and it's interesting how much their approval means to their seemingly smart adult children.
I use to be jealous of my friends who's parents yelled at them for coming home with Black Flag bars or whatever tattooed on them. I think it just means they give a shit. Getting tattoos on your body just probably doesn't follow the bogus script they've had in their head for what you'd be like as an adult. Doesn't mean they are not proud of all your other accomplishments. Maybe have the talk to end all talks about them, an open and honest conversation from both ends. Then the topics off the table. Don't let your parents opinions on something so simple as tattooed skin cause strain on your relationship with your mom.
My parents were never surprised by my getting tattoos. I came home when I was 14 with a kitchen scratcher tattoo by my friends older brother. Who, not all that surprisingly, was not a tattooer. I showed my mom it with pride right away. Her response was along the lines of, "well that wasn't the smartest way to go about getting a tattoo". That was it. A few days later she pointed out that poor people, especially women, already have enough things stacked against them, no point in making myself look like a criminal and killing my potential. (Thankfully I moved far away from kitchen tattoos well over a decade ago.)
My mom may not win any mother of the year awards, but she has a good heart and I know now that she meant well with her bleak commentary. She's just always been blunt and said it how she saw it, no matter how misguided it may be. Parents have their faults. She had known since I was 10-11 that I loved tattoos. I'd always check out all the tattoos on the bikers and scumbags that hung around. I sat in awe across the kitchen table from my mom when she got one (a terrible blue rose on her chest) when I was 8 or 9. I'd get paid to babysit with tattoo magazines. We moved regularly and always being on the go meant I had few belongings, but my mom would occasionally find a new tattoo or music magazine in a gas station somewhere that would keep me distracted.
I can go home with a new tattoo and my mom will usually ask to take a peak. I'd say the real shocker and bone of contention was just my decision to grow up independent and sober, build some financial stability, and earning myself a comfortable middle class life. I'd say that causes more waves and tension. But, you know, different strokes.
TL;DR: Just hug your mom. Tell her how you feel, have an open conversation, and actually listen to her response. She'll get over it, they always do. Then hug her again.

It will take years @keepcalm.
My folks too are so disapproving. But, I never seeked their approval to begin with.
I use to wear longer sleeves and long pants so I didn't smash them full view, and slowly after time...well, I was just having a beer with mum last night in a pair of shorts and a singlet ...and they're both 78 years old.
The comments only stopped within the last under 12 months. I would address them immediately, tactfully, respectfully though stern.
See, you won't change that good person in you, and oldies are funny from that generation, they judge big time because their world was so square, but they were raised with impeccable values.
You keep on chipping away and out shining with those same values, and after time, a long time, your actions will speak volumes to which they will realise doesn't match what their visual expectation is.
Good luck

I feel for you.
My mom didn't like my tattoos at first (20 years ago). She wasn't as overt as your mom, but her quiet disapproval was like thunder to me. Every once and a while we talked about it, but she associated tattoos with my father, who was a big a$$. Even though she is a reasonable woman she admitted it was challenging for her. I kept doing my thing and about 4 years ago she came right around and is very supportive. So yeah, time and patience.
I really like the suggestion of writing a letter to your mom. She might be projecting her own fears on to you; it's more about her than you. She may never like them, but perhaps in time, she can get to a place where she doesn't get so emotional about them that it affects your relationship. Don't let her feelings stop you - you are your own person and need to keep being true to yourself.

@keepcalm
I do not know how to take care of this issue either, my mom is acting the same way. Everytime I come with a new tattoo she says something, to the effect that she is disapproving but the only thing I have to say is that she needs to get used to it because i will get more. She has this opinion that tattoos are ugly. Her problem is with the art being on the body, she can not get past that for her thats a bad thing, design or look does not matter.
I don't have the best relationship with my parents so Im probably not doing the right thing but... I usually try to make them, mostly her, understand that its an art form of its own. That her negative attitude is to compare to someone who is presented with a piece of music, and is of the opinion that its bad because there is sounds in it, before even trying to listen to the music.

when I think about a mom and their kid getting tattooed, i think of Marcellus Wallace during The Bonnie Situation sayin, "Oh, no fuckin shit she'll freak."
I did the same thing as @sophistre but after I got my first tattoo... sent a long ass heartfelt email with a photo of the tattoo with some explanation about it and she called me soon after saying she understands. that broke her in easy, but she had no idea the coverage that would later ensue. ;)
I think what a letter (or email) does as compared to a conversation is allows you to clearly get all of your thoughts and points out to the reader rather than having the listener rebut, interrupt, or shut off altogether. it can't turn into an argument and you don't have to deal with emotions. you can get all your emotions in writing and the reader can let their emotions flow as they read, soak it all in, and reply when they're ready (if at all). either way, it found it to be a bit safer and more effective for my mom.
just another option, depending on your situation. good luck!!

My mother has been extremely supportive of the tattoos my brother and I have, but they do still make her uncomfortable on some level, and this is definitely why. She's less concerned about what other people will think of her than she is about what they'll think of my brother and I -- she worries that they'll make snap judgements about our character, and sees this as the potential for doors in our lives to close unfairly to us.
I sent her a long letter before finally getting started on getting tattoos, explaining my interest. She'd made the usual 'what will you do when you're old and they look terrible?' remark, and as part of the letter I explained that I'd rather be interesting when I'm 70 than a bangable 70-year-old -- seriously, who cares about that at 70? I'm 33 and I barely care now -- and added sort of on a whim that, given I hope to donate my body to science when I pass away, I hope the person who receives it spends a few moments puzzling and wondering over all of the art on me.
Bizarrely, this latter image is the one that seems to have made everything fine for her. She finds it hilarious.
Everybody's mom is different. Communication is worth a try at least once, though, and if you can get to the bottom of it, all the better. It'll be a shame if not, but you have nothing to feel guilty about either way. A mother's job is to prepare her children for the world and the decisions in it, so that we're ready to make those decisions for ourselves when the time comes...even in the presence of opposition to what we find important. Sometimes it just gives rise to uncomfortable differences of opinions in the end. ;)

If I were in your shoes, I would try to truly understand why your mom hates them so much. She hates them just because they are trashy? It must be more than that for her to act so serious about it. I'd sit my mom down with a bottle of alcohol, and I would force a clean answer out of her (my mom prefers avoidance of issues).
And you have to ask the right questions too. This might seem silly but root cause analysis is a valuable life tool, use the "5 Whys". "Why don't you like tattoos?", "In your mind, what makes them trashy?" I'm not going to role play this whole thing out, but I hope you get the idea. Then explain your side, why you like tattoos, how tattooing in this day and age is very different than tattooing in hers, etc. In my own experience, I see a lot of it come from pressure from our parents own peers. If your mom's friends hate tattoos, then that makes her look horrible as a mother that she raised some miscreant that likes tattoos that would embarrass her in front of her friends. You have to see it from her side. If you were on her side of the fence, what would it take to change your mind?
I can tell you, sure as shit, if I were to go to the beach with my mom, she would immediately be fearful of what the people around us would think about my tattoos. She can't help it, she is a mother. She wants all her kids to be seen in a respectful light, and that is her opinion of what respectful means. My older brother rocks a mohawk. It looks good. My mom hates it and it embarrasses the hell out of her because her friends see her son with a mohawk and she feels ashamed.

My mom haaaaaates my tattoos. I think there is less stigma because I'm a guy and have been a weirdo since birth.
I think you will find the situation calms down when you do. Your added tension going in heightens the reactions. There comes a point when you parents see nothing about you has truly changed and they will eventually be over it.
Just be strong you have to be yourself

keep calm and tattoo on...

You should talk with your Mom, because neither your visits nor your tattoos are going to go away. Ultimately she should respect the fact that you make your own choices and the fact that the two of you don't need to agree on everything. If her reaction to that RIGHT is going to be so negative it's only going to have a negative impact on your relationship and time you spend together . . .

...a TED speaker asks:
Juan Enriquez: Your online life, permanent as a tattoo | Talk Video | TED.com
I thought it was an intriguing talk only because often, the negative reactions to tattoos have to do with them being "forever," and "what if you change your mind?", etc. It made me think about the young people I've known who've passed away -- their Twitter feeds, their Facebook profiles -- their online selves are frozen in time. The girl who passed away 12 years ago, would she still like those same TV shows she talks about on Twitter, or be comfortable showing those Facebook profile pictures? In the grand scheme, it doesn't f^cking matter -- those things show who she was at that time, and I don't think there's anything shameful or regrettable or embarrassing about that.
We're all humans, and we all grow and change our minds and adopt new attitudes. Everything we leave behind -- tattoos, Facebook pages, message board posts, blogs, pictures -- is just a big, fat smearing of evidence of how we've personally tripped through life. Like the slime trail a slug leaves behind.
Yes, you can quote me on that last one. I know it's elegant as f^ck. ::sips tea, pinky out::

I can relate, I feel ya
My parents reaction to my first tattoo was OMG why why why...it's so big...why did you do that to your body...
Then I got some bigger hidden pieces. I never disclosed because they clearly were not interested in acknowledging the big pink (well, purple, blue, battleship grey, etc) elephant in the room
Then I got both arms done. And some legs.
I wore long sleeves and pants to family dinners for years after the fact...then eventually my parents said, look, we don't really like or understand tattoos but we know they are obviously important to you. And we don't want you to feel uncomfortable when you come visit the family, you are loved and accepted. So please know you can wear a short sleeve shirt and shorts when it is summertime and be comfortable with us. You are our son and we love you, regardless.
What I'm trying to say...your parents love you. And hopefully they come around. Change in perception can take time.
And mom and dad did come around...after 10 years. I came home from a trip with a screaming eagle on my neck. They weren't that shocked which actually was super-weird! But then we finally had a conversation where they gave me an opportunity to open up briefly...about why and what tattoos give to my life, what it means in my heart, the confidence in my body Why your neck?! Well, easy mom n dad! because there is no space anywhere else!
But until they do...remember your tattoos they are about YOU and they are to worn with your CONFIDENCE. Own it! So don't waste your energy trying to convince your parents, family, whichever people that aren't genuinely interested. That's their friggin' problem, not yours.
Good luck :)
about your Mom...Moms don't like seeing their kids in pain, which is all my mom could see in my tattoos. Pain. Until I talked to her. Open from the heart. Then my mom saw them as colourful and beautiful. The pictures on our skin are a reflection of what's inside us and where we have been. So talk to your Mom openly. Tell her all the positive things the tattoos have given you. And in time, let's hope your mom/family can drop the negativity and have an open-mind, to accept you and accept the things that are important to you.
In the meantime, remember - your tattooed skin is thick and colourful now. don't let the negative vibes stick to you.
Tattoos are temporary...and so is life :)

...a TED speaker asks:
Juan Enriquez: Your online life, permanent as a tattoo | Talk Video | TED.com
I thought it was an intriguing talk only because often, the negative reactions to tattoos have to do with them being "forever," and "what if you change your mind?", etc. It made me think about the young people I've known who've passed away -- their Twitter feeds, their Facebook profiles -- their online selves are frozen in time. The girl who passed away 12 years ago, would she still like those same TV shows she talks about on Twitter, or be comfortable showing those Facebook profile pictures? In the grand scheme, it doesn't f^cking matter -- those things show who she was at that time, and I don't think there's anything shameful or regrettable or embarrassing about that.
We're all humans, and we all grow and change our minds and adopt new attitudes. Everything we leave behind -- tattoos, Facebook pages, message board posts, blogs, pictures -- is just a big, fat smearing of evidence of how we've personally tripped through life. Like the slime trail a slug leaves behind.
Yes, you can quote me on that last one. I know it's elegant as f^ck. ::sips tea, pinky out::

...a TED speaker asks:
Juan Enriquez: Your online life, permanent as a tattoo | Talk Video | TED.com
I thought it was an intriguing talk only because often, the negative reactions to tattoos have to do with them being "forever," and "what if you change your mind?", etc. It made me think about the young people I've known who've passed away -- their Twitter feeds, their Facebook profiles -- their online selves are frozen in time. The girl who passed away 12 years ago, would she still like those same TV shows she talks about on Twitter, or be comfortable showing those Facebook profile pictures? In the grand scheme, it doesn't f^cking matter -- those things show who she was at that time, and I don't think there's anything shameful or regrettable or embarrassing about that.
We're all humans, and we all grow and change our minds and adopt new attitudes. Everything we leave behind -- tattoos, Facebook pages, message board posts, blogs, pictures -- is just a big, fat smearing of evidence of how we've personally tripped through life. Like the slime trail a slug leaves behind.
Yes, you can quote me on that last one. I know it's elegant as f^ck. ::sips tea, pinky out::

...a TED speaker asks:
Juan Enriquez: Your online life, permanent as a tattoo | Talk Video | TED.com
I thought it was an intriguing talk only because often, the negative reactions to tattoos have to do with them being "forever," and "what if you change your mind?", etc. It made me think about the young people I've known who've passed away -- their Twitter feeds, their Facebook profiles -- their online selves are frozen in time. The girl who passed away 12 years ago, would she still like those same TV shows she talks about on Twitter, or be comfortable showing those Facebook profile pictures? In the grand scheme, it doesn't f^cking matter -- those things show who she was at that time, and I don't think there's anything shameful or regrettable or embarrassing about that.
We're all humans, and we all grow and change our minds and adopt new attitudes. Everything we leave behind -- tattoos, Facebook pages, message board posts, blogs, pictures -- is just a big, fat smearing of evidence of how we've personally tripped through life. Like the slime trail a slug leaves behind.
Yes, you can quote me on that last one. I know it's elegant as f^ck. ::sips tea, pinky out::

Interesting thread :) I have OCD, so I have to be balanced. I got the angel on outside of lower left leg to balance the demon on the right. Even though they have separate meanings, still have to be balanced.
In relation to planning tattoos, yes, all mine are planned and the placement. At the moment, I'm working on getting legs finished. Planning on half sleeves though I think we (me and my tattooist) both know it will eventually be full sleeve, back will be Giger, left ribs will be another memory tattoo to balance the one on right ribs. I know what I want done on stomach and bit under bra, know what I want on top of boobs (bit that can be seen while wearing bra), some of my dresses/tops are low cut so why not? Also have idea of what want done under bra strap on shoulder down. And then all filled. No plans for neck or hands, as work wouldn't allow, but wouldn't rule it out.
When I first started getting tattooed 15 years ago, I didn't think I'd have as much coverage that I do
do. I've also had more people say that I've changed their views of heavily tattooed people and I've inspired a few to start their tattoo journey :)

It's funny because while it seems a lot of people worry about looking balanced, I've always been more attracted to an asymmetrical look. For example, maybe having a 3/4 sleeve on one arm and a full or half on the other, with the opposite side ribs done on the short sleeve side, etc etc.
I'm still early on in my tattoo experience but the more time goes by and the more I take in the culture, the less and less I care about uniformity and the more it's just fun to get tattooed.

Interesting article - thanks for posting, @keepcalm. I like this line - a lot of angst tied up in that.
"In either case, modernity compels us to declare our identity with conviction, whether we’ve found it yet or not."

Read that yesterday; not sure what to make of it. I only started getting tattooed when I had some stability in my life (same job, home and relationship for a while now). I know lots of folks use tattoos to mark the end of a period of transition, though.
Regarding this quote:
A lot of the most fervent defining seems to be done by people looking at the tattoos, rather than the actual tattooed person. I find it interesting that text tattoos are so popular since they also have the most fixed meaning. I like that I can "redefine" my tattoos as I grow older.

An interesting read from The Atlantic -- just offering it up for perusal:
The Identity Crisis Under the Ink - The Atlantic
Excerpt:
In 1998, Velliquette and colleagues conducted an interview-based study that found people use tattoos as a way to cement aspects of their current selves. “We were hoping to look at the postmodern identity, and really what we found is that we were in this modern era where people did know who they were,” she said. “They had a sense of their core self.” Eight years later, the team revisited the idea. The second study, like the first, found that people used tattoos as a means to express their past and present selves. But the people interviewed in the second group also seemed to need proof that their identities existed at all. They relied on tattoos as a way to establish some understanding of who they actually were.
“We continue to be struck by rapid and unpredictable change,” study co-author Jeff Murray said at the time. “The result is a loss of personal anchors needed for identity. We found that tattoos provide this anchor. Their popularity reflects a need for stability, predictability, permanence.”

An interesting read from The Atlantic -- just offering it up for perusal:
The Identity Crisis Under the Ink - The Atlantic
Excerpt:
In 1998, Velliquette and colleagues conducted an interview-based study that found people use tattoos as a way to cement aspects of their current selves. “We were hoping to look at the postmodern identity, and really what we found is that we were in this modern era where people did know who they were,” she said. “They had a sense of their core self.” Eight years later, the team revisited the idea. The second study, like the first, found that people used tattoos as a means to express their past and present selves. But the people interviewed in the second group also seemed to need proof that their identities existed at all. They relied on tattoos as a way to establish some understanding of who they actually were.
“We continue to be struck by rapid and unpredictable change,” study co-author Jeff Murray said at the time. “The result is a loss of personal anchors needed for identity. We found that tattoos provide this anchor. Their popularity reflects a need for stability, predictability, permanence.”

An interesting read from The Atlantic -- just offering it up for perusal:
The Identity Crisis Under the Ink - The Atlantic
Excerpt:
In 1998, Velliquette and colleagues conducted an interview-based study that found people use tattoos as a way to cement aspects of their current selves. “We were hoping to look at the postmodern identity, and really what we found is that we were in this modern era where people did know who they were,” she said. “They had a sense of their core self.” Eight years later, the team revisited the idea. The second study, like the first, found that people used tattoos as a means to express their past and present selves. But the people interviewed in the second group also seemed to need proof that their identities existed at all. They relied on tattoos as a way to establish some understanding of who they actually were.
“We continue to be struck by rapid and unpredictable change,” study co-author Jeff Murray said at the time. “The result is a loss of personal anchors needed for identity. We found that tattoos provide this anchor. Their popularity reflects a need for stability, predictability, permanence.”

This back killed my entire running year. That, and some pelvis problems which contributed to long term overuse injuries, my base is gone. So depressing!!! I'm allowed to start running a couple miles at a time now when I can sneak it in. Shaking my head.
BUT! When my back is finished, which at the latest is Jan 2, I get to start training. Next year's big race - a team of us won the lottery for the Hood-to-Coast 197 mile relay in Oregon! I've never run a relay, but I am soooo excited! Anyone else run long relays?