Relationships and tattoos

[Hogrider]

On December 28, 2016 at 11:34 PM, Twin Guillotines said:

I'm in love with a fully covered girl. She and I had a falling out this year, and I fell off a roof after getting thrown out of a bar that she wasn't supposed to be at, since I was a regular there, and ever since we spoke and met at a dinner event, she has demonized dive bars

 

I've been plaguing my mind with ways to express that tattooed people often seek normality in others, but we have such a place in the "not for everyone" spectrum of life, that I missed a night to ask her on a second date. She knows it, and won't ever let me forget, but that's just how I was brought up, to never let my desire, as a lesser, still heavily as in dedication and perserverance tattooed individual, let a fight between adults get me back to remembering how and why I lost out.

 

Eh, I think it was @beez who said a couple of years ago, forgive my anonimity here, but I've been around since the start of LST, I just wish to keep this open yet closed, that it takes balls to date a tattooed woman. And, it does. I've spent nights out in the cold because of this woman, and she won't ever err me for it like my exes. 

 

The first and last of dating in tattooism.

Friends don't let friends drink and post. ;-)

[Twin Guillotines]

14 hours ago, Hogrider said:

Friends don't let friends drink and post. ;-)

I drink, but, kindly, enough, I wasn't drunk that night.

[Hogrider]

28 minutes ago, Twin Guillotines said:

I drink, but, kindly, enough, I wasn't drunk that night.

That's too bad.

[sipes23]

My wife has agreed to come along with for my next tattoo. I want her there to see what it is that I enjoy and to keep me company. 

Is it wrong that I also want her to see that there is nothing to be afraid of?

[Gingerninja]

No at all but try to make sure her energy is good! Don't put any pressure on her and don't get in a fight about it.

Give her a true, loving option to opt out. Like no harm, no foul, it's-all-good-option. If she doesn't take the out, then she needs to be love and good energy to your appointment.  @sipes23

I do this all the time with my hubby when there's something that I want to do (and love) doesn't match up with his headspace. Be kind, compassionate and honest about what you'd like to share with her. If it's a good match, great. If not, accept it graciously and move on. My two cents.

[Devious6]

@Gingerninja - solid advice there. Lynn and I follow the same guidelines. Sometimes, your priorities and likes don't match up. Knowing not to push is crucial to a strong and stable relationship.

[Tornado7]

I don't like having people at my appointments. It does something to the vibe with the artist. My son is more fun than my spouse though ?

[Colored Guy]

I've seen some ugly husband-and-wife dynamics at tattoo appointments, but this was decades ago. Take separate cars in case one of you wants to leave before the other. Craziest thing so far... wife sat in the car blowing the horn outside, she was out of patience I suppose... what a poop mist it spread over the shop vibe....

 

[Gingerninja]

On ‎1‎/‎22‎/‎2017 at 8:28 PM, Colored Guy said:

I've seen some ugly husband-and-wife dynamics at tattoo appointments, but this was decades ago. Take separate cars in case one of you wants to leave before the other. Craziest thing so far... wife sat in the car blowing the horn outside, she was out of patience I suppose... what a poop mist it spread over the shop vibe....

 

That's such petty and childish behavior. For fucks sake.

[sipes23]

On 1/21/2017 at 5:24 AM, Gingerninja said:

No at all but try to make sure her energy is good! Don't put any pressure on her and don't get in a fight about it.

Give her a true, loving option to opt out. Like no harm, no foul, it's-all-good-option. If she doesn't take the out, then she needs to be love and good energy to your appointment.  @sipes23

I do this all the time with my hubby when there's something that I want to do (and love) doesn't match up with his headspace. Be kind, compassionate and honest about what you'd like to share with her. If it's a good match, great. If not, accept it graciously and move on. My two cents.

Zero pressure on any aspect of it for her. I really just want her to see what it is I enjoyed so much. I want her to see that I have made a discovery about myself that I truly enjoy and that it isn't what she thinks.

[Gingerninja]

Just don't be disappointed if it's not her thing! @sipes23

[Dan]

myself and my wife usually both get tattooed in consecutive appointments at  shops and conventions,

it's an awesome shared time together,we always have a lot of fun in those experiences.

we always have a great time with the artists and usually laugh a lot and that also helps keep minds off of the pain a little.

 

Edited January 25, 2017 by Dan

[Colored Guy]

On ‎1‎/‎24‎/‎2017 at 0:58 PM, Gingerninja said:

That's such petty and childish behavior. For fucks sake.

It was terrible, I can imagine what the home life was like. My ex-wife was there when I got a large tattoo and she was fine, just watched, not a peep. Regardless, we were done as a couple in the next 6 months.

[sipes23]

@Gingerninja If it is, it is. If all I do is dispell some mystery, I'm good too.
@Dan That would be cool, but I won't hold my breath.

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[Intomyskin]

My wife has tattoos, and at this point has more than I do. But to tell the truth, she is not “into” tattoos in the same way that I am. It is something that she did in the past, reached a point where she was satisfied, and stopped. She has no regrets, but I think it is sort of a “been there, done that” thing for her, in a good way.

 

I’m going to be flying cross-country multiple times for long sessions for my back piece. I told her that I hoped she would go with me. I had hoped that she would sit by my side for long sessions and support me, But she said that she might go with me on one or two trips, because she could shop all day. Well, to each his/her own!

 

We talked about it and she said that she wanted to support me, but she said that if we were going to spend money to fly to an interesting distant place, sitting there for 6 hours watching me get tattooed, with nothing else to do except perhaps read a book was not her idea of fun.

 

When she puts it in those terms, I get that! For me, getting the tattoo is the sole reason for the trip, and that is enough for me. But it’s not fair to her to expect her to just sit there.

[Groovy4dabooty]

I am tattoed but my girlfriend has no interest in getting tattoos. She does have a strong appreciation for them, especially for the artwork & culture. So far she is really supportive in me getting tattoed. She has been with me for 2 of my seshs & her being a social butterfly, has really sparked good conversations with the artist. Im much more quiet, so she makes the experience more enjoyable. I hope to bring her around in future work & maybe she'll change her mind someday.

[ilysespieces]

My husband has no tattoos, just because he doesn't really know what to get or cares enough to put the effort into finding an artist and booking an appointment. He is alright with mine, he probably wishes I wasn't so obsessed with getting more, but I wish he wasn't so obsessed with MMOs and we can't always get what we want :P

My husband appreciates the fact that I research artists and pay for good work, I don't think he'd like my tattoos that much if they weren't good. I'm hoping one day he does decide to pull the trigger and get a tattoo, he has a couple of good "if I did get one, it might be this" ideas.

[Synesthesia]

My boyfriend (of 7 YEARS NOW, will we ever get engaged?!) has come a long way since my first post in this thread, and the days where he would make me promise not to get any more or tried to talk me out of traditional designs (which he thought were too simple and cartoony).

I got tattooed on vacation recently so of course he was there with me. He browsed some of the art books and flash with me while we waited for my stencil to be made. He chuckled at some of the goofy designs (instead of asking me "why would anyone want that?"), and looked with an unmistakable level of admiration at a lot of traditional designs I think he would have previously turned his nose up to. He was in awe of some of the designs that had dates on them, and spoke in an almost hushed reverence of their age and that people were still getting them to this day. He even pointed out a couple traditional lady designs and said were beautiful. He was actually genuinely stoked to see what I was getting and see every step of the process. I fully expected him to try to talk me out of the placement at the last minute or question certain aspects of it, but he was completely supportive. 

He also admired Matt Lambdin's portfolio and even took one of his business cards...it might not be long now before he gets his own finally! 

[soraya]

I’ve always enjoyed reading this thread, and decided to bump it with a question:

I see a lot of comments here where one partner is not tattooed and the other is, and both parties are fine with that, and both accept and respect the other’s point of view. However many of those posts also end with sort of a wistful comment like @ilysespieces's, “…I’m hoping one day he does decide to pull the trigger and get a tattoo…”

So I’m curious. When your partner is untattooed, and you accept that, and everybody is happy with that, why do some of you still wish/hope that your untattooed partner will finally come around and get a tattoo?

[Gingerninja]

I am perfectly fine with my hubby not being tattooed...ever. 

[Tornado7]

7 hours ago, soraya said:

So I’m curious. When your partner is untattooed, and you accept that, and everybody is happy with that, why do some of you still wish/hope that your untattooed partner will finally come around and get a tattoo?

Same reason I tried to get him to eat seafood. He hated it 15 years ago, to the point where I couldn't really cook it at home. Now he asks to go out for raw oysters, and he's picked out the fish we're cooking at the house all year.

Sometimes we encourage each other to grow, try new things, change thinking we've carried without understanding for years, etc. We trust each other.

[Dan]

I think there is another scenario, like what my wife and myself evolved through,

when we got together 12 years ago she liked my tattoos(I had a lot then),and she had zero tattoos,

she also said back then that she would never get one,

well grandkids came a long and she learned a lot more about tattoos and saw the fun I was having and she started getting them on her own free will,

I was fine with her not having any or having them, I love her either way. I'll take her anyway I can get her.

it is cool that we share another common interest now though IMO.I love the fact that we experience it together much of the time.(like both getting tattoos at the same convention)

[pidjones]

Tornado7 hit it for me. I'd love for her to experience the interest that I have. But, it's Ok for her not to. I don't enjoy cooking or gardening (but I do enjoy eating what she grows and cooks!) We do enjoy riding the motorcycle and seeing new places together. She seemed to really enjoy the trip we recently took to Kennedy Space Center.  So, if she never gets one, it's still all good!

[soraya]

In my case, my husband has tattoos, and I got my first at his suggestion. But he has decided to stop, while I plan to get much more coverage. He is fine (actually quite pleased) with me continuing, and I accept his decision to stop. But I do wish he would get more tattoos. Part of it is that I think they look good on him, and I can visualize him with more. Another part of it is that if he continued getting tattooed, it would be sharing a common interest or activity between us. We got tattoos at the same time once, and it was a lot of fun, and it was sort of neat sharing the healing process, and the "Wow, it's healed!" moment. It was sort of a bonding moment. Also, tattooing is a pretty personal, and in some ways intimate act, and sharing that with a loved one is appealing to me.

[AverageJer]

When my wife and I first got together she had tattoos and I didn't and actually I was kind of an asshole about them. Eventually I decided to get a small tattoo that we both got together and I haven't stopped since. We frequently get tattooed on the same day, sometimes at the same time and sometimes back to back by the same artist, and we have a lot of fun with this- but I suppose I've already said all of this upthread...